Thursday, August 14, 2008

Whiney Wieners

Biker B*tch Extraordinaire
(Dynah Lowrider - during better days)

I'm a Weenie-Dog Aficionado. It all started back when I was, like, four or five years old. I went to a friend's birthday party and the family dachshund had had a carnal encounter with a neighborhood poodle. They had an excess of puppies and managed to pawn them off on the attendees as "party favors!"

My mom wasn't overly thrilled with the idea but succumbed to peer pressure - what with all the other kids' moms trundling up their giddy, sugar-amped youngsters and new puppies into their respective station wagons...

(At least that's how I remember it!)

Heidi lived a good 14-15 years IIRC - and she was TOTALLY devoted to my mom. In fact, when she reached her final days, my mom was out of town - but Heidi waited 'til she returned and died in my mom's arms.

Wow - That's a Total Bummer way to start a post, isn't it?!

* * * * *
In the ensuing years, I've pretty-much lost count of how many dachshunds we've had. Let's see, there was Gretchen (who joined us shortly after Heidi's departure). Gretchen begat Squeak and Carefree Katrina (who was far from "care-free" - she was a nasty little fighter! But she, too, begat a litter or two... Like I say, I've lost count!).

Gretchen also begat Tuxedo - my "Once-in-a-Lifetime" dog... I chronicled much of her story on my webpage QT's Pet Page.

Tuxedo begat Baby and Babbitt. Both Baby and Babbitt ended up having back surgery (as dachshunds are prone to disc injuries). Both came through it just fine...

Baby did no begatting - so after Tuxedo's departure - I purchased Tazz the Spazz (The Last of the Boat Dogs). She's a black-and-tan smooth. At that time (early 2000), I learned that finding a breeder who will sell you a breed-able female is pretty damned difficult (that's a separate story, however), but I did find one breeder who took pity on me and hooked me up.

So Tazz is aptly named. She's a bit, umm, Schizo - for lack of a better word! She's also extremely high-energy and positively OBSESSED with chasing tennis balls. Well, at the ripe old age of 4, Tazz ALSO developed back problems. She, too, had the surgery and is perfectly fine now.

Prior to her surgery, Tazz begat Dynah Lowrider (in 2003), a mini wirehaired black-and-tan dachshund. You don't see a whole lot of wirehaired doxies, but I think they're the cutest! (DH and my family beg to differ!).

Roger wanted a "fluffy" dog he could call his own, so early last year, Princess Annie joined the family. She's a black-and-tan long-haired dachshund...

So back to Dynah: Dynah is, by far, the most compact of the three doxies. And she's a total "Mama's Girl!" She's also the laziest of the three. Although I like to think she's more "hedonistic" than anything else... Just give her a soft, warm pillow and she's Good-To-Go. I thought, for sure, she'd "dodge the bullet" as far as back-problems were concerned.

I mean, hell, this is only supposed to affect one in four doxies, right? (at least according to my web research!) And not ALL of them end-up being so bad that they require surgery!

Well... Dynah didn't dodge the bullet, unfortunately. Last week - yeah, last Thursday night - I came home from work and Dynah was in distress. Her hind end was wobbly and she was panting and trembling. I immediately gave her anti-inflammatories and locked her in a crate (SOP for back injuries). We went to our regular vet on Friday - who agreed with my diagnosis and bumped her up to Prednisone.

Saturday morning (why do these things ONLY happen on weekends?!!), Dynah took a serious downturn and was nearly completely paralyzed in her hind end. Moreso on the right rear leg, and she just couldn't support herself anymore. Plus she was obviously in serious pain - which broke my heart! So off to the Emergency Clinic, and then to Surgery.

Several thousand dollars later... Dynah came home on Monday morning, and I've been playing Doggie-Nursemaid ever since. The first day or two, she couldn't even piddle or poop without a lot of intervention (I'll spare you the gory details!). She's doing much better now and is actually able to support her hind-end for long enough to "take care of business" (Thank Gawd!). But she's gonna be on strict crate-rest for a month.

The thing that's really frustrating for me is that Dynah is a LOUSY patient! I thought, for sure, with her being such a puss and a "Mama's Girl" that she would look to me for comfort, and trust my guidance.

Not so, Kemosabe!

All of the other dogs I've had to 'nurse' have experienced discomfort, yes. But they went along with the "treatment" (including Doggie Physical Therapy where I 'bicycle' their little hind legs to keep them supple). Not so with Dynah. She fights and frets and generally gives me nothing but grief!

I try to bring her out into the den, and lay her on a pillow on the couch. She struggles and wriggles and tries to get away! I bring her outside and put her in the shade on the grass, in a little puppy playpen. She whines and yelps incessantly! I want her to be able to "be with the family" but there's just no pleasing her! Needless to say, leaving her locked in her little "prison" (a small, airline-type crate) isn't any better. But at least in the crate I don't have to worry about her injuring herself.

So, unfortunately, I have to keep her pretty heavily sedated most of the time. That's actually probably the best thing for her (she needs the rest, for sure), but it sucks. She's not really "in pain" (I keep her on low-doses of her pain meds), but she's extremely frustrated that she can't move around and "do what she wants to do."

And, for the life of me, I can't get her to believe me when I tell her "It's all going to be okay!"

So that's the story for today... And for the next several weeks! :::sigh:::

* * * * *
Oh, BTW, I do know all the "rules" for owning dachshunds. Might as well share them, huh?!
  • No jumping, leaping or flying (Try telling *them* that!)
  • No running up and down stairs - especially long, steep flights of stairs (One-story house, here)
  • No jumping off the furniture (Again, negotiating with a dachshund can be - "Challenging!")
  • If they absolutely, positively MUST get up on the furniture (Like there's a choice?!), build steps or ramps for them
  • Don't let them get overweight (No matter how sad they look while you're eating!)

How-some-ever: Sometimes you can take all the precautions in the world (I did!!!), and Bad Things can still happen...

No comments:


View my page on Meet the Phlockers