Recipe: Spicy Peachy Blueberry Jam

Another one of those "Quick, Write it down before you forget!" kinda recipes (which may, or may not, get modified later!)

QT's Low-Sugar Spicy Peachy Blueberry Jam
Yield: 8 x 1/2 pints of jam

• 32 oz. basket of blueberries (nets ~6 cups before mashing) (4-5 cups after mashing)
• 2 large and 6 small fresh peaches, blanched and peeled (nets ~2-3 cups)
• 2 tsp cinnamon (or more, if you want to taste the cinnamon)
• 2 TBS lemon juice (bottled is fine)
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 3 cups granulated Splenda
• 5 TBS Low/No-Sugar pectin (On second thought: Bump it back to 4 TBS total)

Okay, I am posting in real-time, so bear with me!

Rinse your blueberries and remove any stems and/or squishy ones.  Mash them, one layer at a time.  You'll end up w/appx 4-5 cups of mashed berries.

Blanch and peel your peaches.  Slice them into small chunks and add them to the blueberry mixture 'til you end up with 8 cups of fruit gloop.

Okay, here's where I split it into two batches (larger batches may not "set" properly - or so sayeth the pectin-package)

Instructions:

1. Dump 4 cups of fruit gloop into a large pot.  
2. Add 1 tsp cinnamon and 1 TBS lemon juice to the pot.  
3. Mix 2.5 2 TBS Pectin with 1/2 cup of sugar in a dry bowl.  Dump it in the pot and bring to a boil.  
4. Add 1-1/2 cups Splenda to the pot.  Boil hard for 1 minute (or more).  
5. Check for "set."  If it's set-up properly, ladle into hot, sterilized jars. If not set then cook for a few minutes longer...
6. Let jars sit for 5-10 minutes while you prep the next batch 
7. Give 'em a good stir (to mix up the fruit and minimize Floatie-Fruit Action)
8. Process in canner for ~5-10 minutes
9. Leave jars undisturbed for 12-24 hours

Make sure the lids "popped" and sealed properly.

Optional: You might want to hit the fruit with an immersion blender while it's still hot - then you'll end up with more of a fruit "spread" rather than a jam...

I'll update with pictures and final tally later!

Post-Script:  Okay, I promised pictures, so here ya go:

Definitely looks more like Blueberry Jam - than Peach!

And a "serving suggestion" which was deeelish (as you can see!):

Blueberry-Peach Jam on toast with low-fat cream cheese (neufchatel).

Okay, now for the "Unbiased (!) Review:"  

Okay, it definitely tastes more like Blueberry Jam (No surprise there - given that it was 6 cups blueberries and 2 cups of peaches as "filler").  The peach flavor is subtle, at best!  

As for the "spice factor?"  Cinnamon was so subtle as to be almost non-existent - but that's okay.  I almost wonder if - had I left-out the cinnamon - it might've tasted like something was "missing!"  Seriously, it is damn-near perfect "As-Is!"  Bump-up the cinnamon, if you choose......

Some of the "Blueberry-Peach-Spice Jam" recipes that came-up on Google listed allspice and cloves as suitable additions.  Now I've done cloves (or - more accurately - OVERDONE cloves) in one of my more recent recipes, so I'm kinda scared to use it anymore.  Allspice might have been a nice addition.  Another website (foodpairing.com) suggested that cardamom might work well with blueberries - but I was too scared to try it (since I subscribe to the "freebie" version and couldn't validate it's suitability with peaches - lol!).


Sweetness?: Perfectomundo!  I want to taste the FRUIT - not a tongue-buzzing degree of sweetener!  I wouldn't change it - but if you like Super-Sweet, taste it while you're cooking it and add more if you prefer...


One final note regarding texture:  I went a little overboard with the pectin on this particular recipe (especially since blueberries already have a fair amt of pectin in 'em).  Again, because some of my past "experiments" have ended up more like syrup than jam!  This jam is pretty "stiff!"  Not bad (actually, I like it that way!), and you can give it a good stir before serving it.  But I think you can probably cut-back on the qty of pectin in this recipe (maybe eliminate 1 TBS)...


Anyway, I am calling this recipe a "SUCCESS!"

Less Rambling (HA!)... More Content! Foodie Stuff and Garden Update!

Okay, so for lunch today, I had this:

Turkey, Cheese and Corn Relish. Yummy-Licious!

Okay, not the greatest picture in the world.  My RAZR's internal memory was full and I was hungry!  I snapped this (blurry) picture, then gobbled it down while I was offloading all my pics to my laptop's hard drive!

Smoked Turkey Breast with melted smoked gouda cheese and topped with my Sweet Corn Apple Relish.  It was DIVINE!

There is just *something* about the sweet-tartness of the corn-relish that goes OHHHHH so well with the salty-savoriness of smoked meat.  It is just an amazing combination and I'm *thinking* I may drop-off a jar of my relish at Giordano's next time I go there.  Not because I want to sell it or anything, but - since they're a "family business" - I think they'd just-plain appreciate it.  Hell, maybe THEY'LL start packing and selling it.  (They do sell home-made jams there!).  I think the biggest challenge will be PARTING with a jar of my corn-apple relish (it really IS that good!).

I also want to "adapt" the corn-apple-relish recipe into something with cukes or zukes.  Some kinda sweet-apple-celery-pickle kinda recipe.  Now I am NOT a pickle-person (never have been), but I think I might enjoy the "flavor" of the corn-apple relish applied to cukes or zukes.  We'll hafta see.  Unfortunately, I did not plant cukes this year (or if I did, they got *et* by the snails), so I'll have to rely on the kindness/generosity of friends who might have an overly-abundant harvest...

I did "take a wander" in the garden this afternoon (I think I'm up to Day #3 of "Being Able To Walk" - Friggin' YAYYYY!!!).  Here is what I encountered:

Early Girls - Yay!

Stephanie Stupice of the Finny Farm

Producing at a nice, steady, predictable pace!

Colin Copia - also from the Finny Farm

Unfortunately, I seem to be having some serious problems with blossom-end-rot on this plant (no clue why - it's never been a problem for me before!)

Brandy, the yellow Brandywine has some green fruits forming, as do some of the 'maters in my Paste-O-Rama bed (Pastes *and* Volunteers!).  I didn't bother taking pictures b/c the lighting was too harsh and the baby maters are still pretty green...

Now, this year's New Addition was Indigo Rose - which is a brandy-new variety of tomato.  I've actually harvested a few now and am ready to share my "analysis" of this new variety of tomato.

Indigo Rose, on the vine

(this pic was taken a few weeks ago)

The key seems to be to wait 'til they're red on the bottom before picking!

Here is the top of Indigo Rose - after I pulled the "star" stem-thingie off

Here is the bottom

So Indigo Rose seems to be extremely 'sun-sensitive.'  It's like, wherever the sun hits it, it turns almost-black.  Wherever it's shaded, it retains it's red color.  It's innards are red, like a normal tomato (didn't take a picture because the 'mater, inexplicably, leapt into my mouth before I could snap a picture!).  It's a fairly acidic tomato and it definitely tastes a bit "different" - but I can't really explain the difference.  It's good - for sure - but definitely "different!"  It'll definitely look cool on a salad - assuming it ever MAKES it to a salad! (My maters tend to get gobbled-up before I reach the back door!!!)

And lastly, here is a picture of Today's Harvest:

Not a huge haul, but still plenty!  This is the first year we are experiencing an "overlap" of white and yellow peaches.  The whites (small fruits) are definitely at the tail-end, and the yellows (big Mamma-Jammas) are still a wee-bit greenish.  But I want to harvest the yellow peaches BEFORE the friggin' birds move in and destroy them!

Tonight, I am hoping to put up a couple of batches of spicy blueberry-peach jam.  I bought (:::GASP:::) a big basket of blueberries, on sale, at the grocery-store.  There wasn't quite enough for a full-batch of blueberry jam (need 10 cups for that - only got 6 cups from the basket), so I'll combine them with peaches and make a mixed jam tonight...

Recipe to follow, I'm sure :-)

Happy Harvesting, All!!!

Random Ramblings: Cavalia and Horsey Stuff

So we're finally getting a few smidges of Summer Weather (Yay!).  Mid 90's yesterday and low-90's today "I'll take it!"  Of course, it still dips into the 50's at night ("WTF?!") - but I can definitely hang with the daytime highs.

Yesterday, I took a day off from work thinking I was gonna hook-up with an old BofA Buddy of mine (my last job: 17 years at Bank of America).  She's pushing 30 years (Yowzah!). She was gonna be in town and we thought we could hook up.  Well, her travel plans got fubar'd  and - as it turned out - one of my clients was in Crisis Mode so I ended up working almost half-a-day anyway (Jeesh!).  I did get to wander out to the Tiki Bar in the afternoon and soak-up some rays.  I also kind-of over-indulged in the Adult Beverage Realm (Oops), so my Jam-Making Plans also got fubar'd!

Today was a busy day with work as well, but I am FINALLY relaxing at the Tiki Bar with a 'Rita (*not* gonna over-indulge tonight!).  And this is my favorite Blogging Spot so I shall yammer-away and enjoy the (still) warm weather...

However, I *am* thinking that I need to get my arse out here tomorrow morning and do another rotten-fruit-scooping.  The Maori Tribe of New Zealand has a War Dance called the Haka.  It looks something like this:


And - I'm not sure if they grow peaches and plums in New Zealand - but I can't help but wonder if - instead of a War Dance - maybe they have a fly problem as well???  I kinda feel like I'm perfecting the Haka right about now!

Yep - Gotta get out here tomorrow morning with a rake and a bucket - for sure!!!

So on Sunday, we went to a matinee showing of Cavalia. Think Cirque du Soleil with horses.  TOTAL "Eye-Candy" and overall pleasant sensory experience.  I wasn't sure if hubs would be "into" it (Horses are more *my* thing.  I dragged him to see the Lipizzaner Stallions perform - a few years ago - and he played along, but clearly *wasn't* into it!).  Hubs THOROUGHLY enjoyed Cavalia and raved to his colleagues at work.

I was actually hoping for more "dressage"/dancing horse kinda stuff.  Several years ago, we saw a similar performance (and, unfortunately, I canNOT remember the name of the show!).  I recall that show was more heavily into dressage and the horses were definitely the "Main Stars" of the show.  Cavalia was more of a mix of Cirque du Soleil type of human acrobatics with the horses "sharing the stage."  They definitely got equal billing - don't get me wrong.  And it was a stunning performance, all around - what with the lighting, and music and Eye-Candy back-drops and whatnot.  It actually was almost "sensory overload" - but it was AWESOME in every way.

And yes, they *did* have a few dressage horses.  Piaffe (trot-in-place), Passage (high-stepping trot with a moment of suspension and minimal fwd motion), Half-passes (side-stepping), and some synchronized moves (in-time to the music, even!).  Amazing stuff.  There was one bay horse, in particular, who had absolutely stunning dressage moves.  I *think* it was a stallion - not sure if he was an Oldenburg or a Warmblood, or what (I was too cheap to buy a program!), but he was simply breathtaking to watch.  Reminded me a lot of Dante and, yes, I teared-up a bit watching him perform!

Here is an amazing dressage horse.  Unfortunately, I can't embed the video, but follow the link if you want to see it.  Throughout the video, the horse does an extended trot - where he flips his forelegs WAY out in front and almost looks like he's suspended mid-air during each stride.  Dante did that naturally and for the sheer pleasure of it (srsly, I would turn him out in the front arena and people would stop their cars and get out - just to watch him)!  I could watch this stuff all day but, unfortunately, to a non-horse-person (hubs!), it's kinda like watching paint dry!

Here is another fantastic dressage performance* - Freestyle to Music (and a bit less like "paint drying") - Amazing!


Anyhoooo...  Cavalia: Even though they didn't have dressage performances of this caliber, it was still an Abso-freaking-lutely AMAZING show and - if you have a chance to see it - I Highly-Highly recommend it!

Next up: Foodie Stuff and GARDENING!!!

*Total freaking bummer - Google sez: Blue Hors Matiné (the mare in the last video) broke her leg and had to be put down in 2010.  I am majorly bummed.  What an unbelievably talented horse - and what a loss!!!

Recipe: Oatmeal + Bran Muffins

Quick!  Write it down before you forget!!!

QT's High-Fiber / Low Sugar Oatmeal Bran Muffins
Yield: 12 muffins

Ingredients:

• 1 cup quick-cook (not "Instant") oatmeal
• 1 cup wheat bran
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 1/2 cup Splenda brown-sugar blend (+/- to suit your tastes)
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/4 cup heavy cream (or substitute 1/2-3/4 cup milk for water & cream)
• 1 TBS olive oil (or substitute softened butter or margarine)
• couple-shakes of cinnamon (maybe 1/4 tsp?)
• shake of salt
• handful of chopped dates (optional)
• handful of chopped pecans (optional)
• handful of currants or raisins (optional)

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 375
2. Dump everything in a bowl and mix well.  Taste and adjust sweetness to your liking (Remember, I don't like super-sweet)
3. Spoon into muffin cups to appx 2/3 full
4. Bake for 20-25 minutes until golden brown
5. Let cool, a bit, before serving...

Serve warm-ish with a shmear of cream cheese and a dollop of Low-Sugar Carrot Cake Jam.  

I don't think I can call this truly Low-Carb (what with the dates and currants), but it's not too terribly awful for the blood sugar (I hope!  I am slightly hypoglycemic as I type this!)

Pictures coming...........................

Yummm!

Definitely not Light 'n Fluffy - but they do taste damned good!

Post-Script:  Yeah, this is definitely a "solid" muffin!  Or maybe "hearty" is the word!  Granted, bran muffins are not known for their Light'N Fluffiness, and it's not like you could actually break a window with them, but I think I'd like to figure out a way to cut-back on the "heartiness!"  Any suggestions?  I'm thinkin' dial-back the bran and maybe bump-up the flour?  I dunno...

Anyway, they were still good the next morning, nuked for 20 seconds.  A shmear of cream-cheese on top is delightful and, of course, the carrot-cake jam is The Bomb! But even *just* cream cheese was very tasty.

So Bottom Line:  Flavor was "right on the money" - but I need to work a bit on "texture!" 

Recipe: Smoked Boneless Skinless Turkey Breast

So - other than the dog getting stuck under the shed - I managed to survive my Hubbie-less Week just fine.  "Survive" being the operative word here.  It was a bummer week for me - health-wise - but I'm not gonna p*ss and moan about that..........

I'll just remain eternally grateful that I have the Ultimate Telecommuting Gig that allows me to work productively WITHOUT going into an office (Freaking YAY!); I have Awesome Friends and Neighbors that I know I can count on (Double-YAY!); And I live in an area where damn-near anything can be ordered on the internet and delivered to my door! (YAY Pizza Delivery!  Double-YAY Grocery Delivery!) (And Triple-YAY to the job that pays me enough that I can AFFORD Grocery Delivery 'cuz it ain't cheap!!!)

So I went online to Safeway.com and did all my grocery shopping earlier this week.  At the time, I noticed they had turkey breasts on sale in the meat dept.  I was feeling delusional and thought I might tackle smoking another turkey breast since the last one came out so awesome (That, BTW, was a 3-day/4-post ordeal - which started here).  But I knew I could cut it down to under 24 hours (1 evening for brining, the next day for smoking).

Anyway, I ordered a turkey breast, and added a note that I would prefer "fresh" to "frozen." (I hate waiting for frozen-solid birds to thaw!)

Well, where last year I had cooked an 8# "almost-a-whole-turkey," what got delivered truly was just the breast.  Boneless and skinless even.  And it only weighed 3#.  Hmmm...

What the hell, let's try it anyway...  And THIS TIME I am going to condense everything into *one* post (with minimal rambling - ???  HA!!  Hope springs eternal!!!).

So the breast sat in the fridge for a couple of days.  I think it was "mostly fresh - but partially frozen."  By Friday night, it was fully thawed and ready to go.

Since the breast was soooo tiny (compared to last year's "quadriplegic bird"), I was able to get by with a 1-gallon ziplock baggie and a much smaller quantity of brine...

Anyway, here is the recipe - such as it is.  You might want to modify quantities based on the size of your bird.  Also, illustrations will be minimal (go to my "Turkey Saga" link posted above if you want lots of pictures!)

QT's Cranberry Turkey Brine
Enough for a 3-4 lb breast (adjust quantities accordingly - you want the meat fully submerged)

• 4 cups cranberry juice (I used what I happened to have in the fridge: 2 cups of totally unsweetened cranberry juice and 2 cups of "regular" cranberry-apple sweetened with sugar - "No high-fructose corn syrup!")
• 3 cups water
• 1/2 cup Splenda Brown Sugar Blend
• 1/2 cup fine sea salt
• 1 tsp poultry seasoning blend (no clue what brand it is, but it's pre-packaged generic "poultry seasoning" in the spice aisle of the store)
• 2 TBS McCormick Grill-Mates Applewood rub

Dump all of the ingredients into a 1 gallon zip-lock baggie.  Mix well, then place the turkey breast in the brine.  Seal it up and let it soak in the fridge overnight.  Hint: Not all Zip-lock baggies are totally water-tight, so it helps to put the bag in a large pot before you toss it in the fridge.  That way, if it leaks, you'll "contain" the mess!

Add'l Note: The turkey did come wrapped in a heat-shrink plastic wrapper (which, obv, you need to remove).  Then, inside of that, the breast was cinched-up in some kind of netting.  I had left the breast in the netting for the duration of brining and wasn't sure if I should remove it for smoking.  I did remove it - but it turns out that wasn't necessary based on what I found on this site. In a way, I kinda wished I'd left the netting on (We'll see what happens! LOL)

Okay...  Onto the next day!

About an hour before cooking, you'll want to start soaking your smoker-wood-chunks.  I used hickory this time around (ran out of fruitwoods).  Just fill a disposable aluminum 8" cake pan with warm water and toss the wood chunks in.  Let 'em soak for about an hour.  Turn them, if necessary, to make sure they soak-up the water evenly (you want smoke - not fire!)

Pull the turkey out of the brining bag.  Reserve the brine mix so you can pour it into the water-pan of your smoker (Normally I'd say "toss it" but since the water-pan liquid does nothing more than steam and add aroma to the meat, I think it's safe to re-use it for this purpose).

Place the turkey in a larger disposable aluminum pan (Lasagna sized?  Roaster sized? Whatever you have on-hand and, no, these don't have to be disposable!  I just hate clean-up!).  Tamp it dry with paper towels.  Spray it lightly with olive oil, then apply a seasoning rub.

Here's The Rub:

(I cheated again and bought a pre-packaged McCormick's "Apple-Sage Pork" mix.  I know it's cheesy, but I load-up on 'em when they're on sale 'cuz they're super-easy!)

Ingredients:

• 1-1/2 tsp Rubbed Sage
• 1 tsp Minced Garlic (dried - ICK!)
• 1 tsp Thyme leaves
• 1/2 tsp ground Allspice
• 1/2 tsp Paprika

Rub the breast well.  Top and bottom (and, like I said, I wished I'd left the netting on - removing it meant I couldn't really wiggle-and-roll it around too much!).

I rubbed my breast! (Shhhh!)

Right about now, you'll want to wrap up your wet wood chunks in heavy-duty aluminum foil.  Make little fist-sized packets, well-wrapped, and poke holes all-around.  Then place your wet-wood packets in the bottom of your smoker.  I used a smoker-box on top of the heating element and tucked the other packets between the loops of the heating element (I'm pretty sure you don't want aluminum foil *touching* the element).

BTW- I am using a cheap-and-cheesy Brinkmann "Gourmet" Electric Water Smoker and it suits me just fine for the amount of smoking I do.  BBQ purists would roll their collective eyes at me, I'm sure.  Found mine, on-sale for $69, at Home Depot last year.  You could probably find 'em for much less at Yard Sales or on Craigs List.  It's definitely not the best, but it does the job (and if it craps out - as mine did last year - it's quick and cheap to replace!).

Anyhoooo...  You've got your wet-wood packets on the bottom level of the smoker, so put the middle-section on top of that.  Place the water pan in position and dump your leftover brine in there.  Then add your grates (helps to spray them with olive oil.  Less skank to scrub later!).  

Okay, NOW put your temperature probe on the top grate, add the lid and plug the unit in.  It'll take appx 20 mins to pre-heat.

All this time, the breast is sitting on the countertop in the kitchen.  Not quite getting down to room temp, but not chilling either.  I don't think any grody bacteria-monsters are gonna take-hold in that time - although most Smoker-Sites seem to recommend leaving the bird in the fridge 'til the last possible minute (do what YOU feel comfortable with!).

Okay, once the smoker reaches appx 250*, you're ready to start cookin'!  Take your probe and sink it into the thickest part of the breast.  Note: If you left the netting on, the breast *seems* to be in two pieces, so you'll want to make sure the end of the probe isn't in the "in between" section.  Since I removed the netting, I could clearly see where the "in-between" section was, so I stuck my probe off to the side, in the middle of a thick hunk of breast-meat.  Then pop the top on the smoker and pour yourself a margarita!!!

We're cookin' now!

Smoker won't start smoking immediately at this point.  But, if you've soaked your wood pretty-well, it will start smoking about an hour into it.  And the smoke should be low-n-slow - which imparts a very nice flavor to the meat.

Approximately 2-1/2 hours later, the internal temp of the breast should reach 165* and you're ALMOST done!  Remove the breast from the smoker, wrap it in aluminum foil, then a towel, and put it back in the lasagna pan and let it rest for appx 30 minutes.  I'm assuming (but not confirming!) that the internal temperature will continue to rise...

The thing that surprised me (and I'm not sure why I'm surprised) was that there was almost no shrinkage during cooking.  When I saw how small the turkey breast was (it sure looked small!  Especially compared to last year's turkey-breast experiment), I was worried that we'd end up with almost NO edible meat.  Probably because I am more accustomed to slow-cooking pork (which usually nets about 50% of what you started with!).  I was actually debating going to the grocery store this morning and picking up a pork roast so that I could "maximize my productivity" and cook up TWO hunks of meat at once (something that could be easily accomplished, actually).  But I was too lazy to go to the store ;-)

Honestly, if I did this again, I'd probably cook-up TWO turkey breasts and freeze one for slicing later...

All Done!

Smells - and TASTES - delicious (although compared to last year's "quadriplegic bird," this one was not *quite* as moist.  And I could definitely detect the cranberry-brine this time.  It's still very tasty though)!  Hubs wants Open-Faced Turkey Sandwiches for dinner tonight.  I think I can accommodate that request!

All told, not a bad way to burn a lazy Saturday afternoon.........

CRISIS AVERTED!

Yep.  ANOTHER rambling post! (I *swear* we'll get back to "regularly scheduled programming" at SOME point!!!)

Firstly - not that I'm gonna WHINE nonstop - I'm still experiencing some significant psoriasis woes.  I mention this only because it is kind of a Key Point in today's post...

Secondly - Other "background info:" Hubs is traveling on business.  He left, yesterday afternoon, to stay at a hotel near the SFO airport on a "Park-N-Fly" deal.  He'll be in Tel Aviv, Israel for appx 1 week (and NO - I do NOT like him traveling to the Middle East - but what're ya gonna do, right?!).

And thirdly/fourthly - Other "background info:"  Dynah - who I'd pictured here - is a Key Player in today's "Drama!"

Here she is again:

Yep.  She's mama's little Einstein!

And this also factors into the story:

The "original" shed (not to be confused with the newer Tiki Shack/Studio)

Okay...  There's all the background info!  Now, onto yesterday's DRAMA, which is basically a copy/paste from an email I'd sent out to my aunt...

Ha!  Today I had a bit of a Mini-Crisis with one of my dogs which - now that it's over - is actually pretty amusing!  It most-assuredly WASN'T amusing at the time!

See, I just started some new medication for my skin condition which makes me SUPER-DUPER tired and weak (but I should, eventually "acclimate" to it - and if it helps the skin condition, it will be worth it).  Hubs was actually worried about leaving me for his business trip to Israel - but I assured him that I would "get by" and - worst case - if I needed help, I do have helpful neighbors and good friends that I could turn to.

Well, shortly after he left, one of my dogs went missing!  It was Dynah, my little wire-haired doxie (and definitely "Mama's Girl").  Now she couldn't have gotten OUT of the yard, but she was very well-concealed.  I kept calling and calling her - nothing!  I got the dog-cookie-jar and shook it - nothing! (but the other two were MOST eager for cookies!). 

Now the funny thing is, if either of the other girls goes into hiding, I just call Dynah and say "Where's Annie (or Tazz)?!" and Dynah will lead me right to the errant hound (Dynah "rats 'em out!" every time).  Well this time I asked Tazz "Where's Dynah?" and Tazz just brought me to her tire (her favorite throw-toy).  Tazz was too interested in playing fetch, so I turned to Annie "Where's Dynah?!"  Annie just kind of looked at me like I was nuts!

Well, then I started to panic. "DYNAH?!!  DYNAH?!!!" 

Eventually, I heard a muffled-but-panicked bark - coming from UNDER the porch of the shed. 

Not sure if you remember our "little house"/shed out back, but there is a porch on the front of it and - knowing that we have little dogs - I made sure everything was constructed in such a way that the dogs couldn't get UNDER it.  So HOW she got trapped under there is anybody's guess!  But what WAS clear was that she couldn't figure out how to get out - and she was really freaked-out!  And, since she is "my baby" - I was pretty freaked, too!

So I go into the garage and grab the drill and a phillips-head screwdriver bit - thinking I could simply undo 6 screws to remove a plank, and help pull her out.  Unfortunately, all I succeeded in doing was stripping the screw-heads!  And at that point, I was getting REALLY exhausted (and frantic).  Sun is starting to set.  The dog is shrieking piteously at this point.  And I can't get her out!

I went out front to see if my neighbors are home.  Nope.

I ended up calling my good friend, P, IN TEARS (and I am decidedly NOT what you'd call a "Drama Queen" - but I was feeling pretty desperate at that point).

"Hi.  Umm. [snif snif] Are you busy right now?"

"I'm just starting to cook dinner.  Why are you crying?"

I managed to choke out a few details about how one of the dogs was trapped under the shed and I couldn't get her out.

"I'm sending C over - right now!"

So I sat on the shed-porch, trying to calm Dynah (and myself!) down, and waited for "Rent-A-Son Services" C (Priscilla's son) to arrive.

Bless his heart - it took him less than 5 minutes to unscrew and remove a plank, retrieve the dog, replace the plank, FIND where she had dug an "access trench" and block it off with a big ol' cement block, AND give her a belly-rub!

CRISIS AVERTED!!!

I feel extremely fortunate to have such good friends.  I really HATE having to ask for help - but it's nice to know it's there when you need it!

So yeah, in hindsight, it makes for a pretty amusing story.  But - at the time - I was a freaking basket-case (and, honestly, probably more p*ssed-off over the fact that I couldn't "fix it myself" than anything else).

More Radio Silence... (aka Weekend Fun - Followed by Whining)

Yeah, so a couple weeks ago I whined a bit about my psoriasis woes.  Then, about a week later, everything cleared up (purely coincidentally - after seeing a new dermatologist.  We hadn't changed anything with the pharmacological stew I was taking).

So then I had, like a WHOLE WEEK where I was able to walk and function like a Normal Human Being (Hey!!!).

News Flash:  I *like* walking and functioning like a Normal Human Being!

Welllllll...  Unfortunately, that didn't last nearly long enough.  It *did* last long enough for me to eradicate the rotting plum population from the garden, thereby sparing our party guests from having to swat flies away from their BBQ dinners (Yay!).

And I *did* manage to prunify 15# of plums - and learned that "prepping" tart fruit by soaking in a lemon/water mixture results in even TARTER fruit.  Yuk!  Not sure what I'm gonna do with the resulting plums, but I might try soaking them in a Sweetener/Water solution to "reconstitute" them before using them in various recipes (i.e. maybe pork roast? Stuffed chicken breast? Dunno yet!).  But they are decidedly *not* Snack-Worthy!

Annnnnnd....  In the meantime, I have ALSO discovered that they do make "Plum-Pitters" / "Plum-Stoners" - similar to Cherry-pitters, only larger.  I bought this one on Amazon.  Too late for this year's harvest, but maybe it will prove useful NEXT year!  If so, there will be MORE jam (and - maybe - less b*tching) next year!

Annnnnnd...  I made ANOTHER Orgasmic Cherry Pie!  This time, I followed my recipe EXACTLY (including cutting back on the Almond, and bumping up the Vanilla).  FAN-F**KING-TASTIC!!!  Even our BBQ Guests raved about it (and I *hope* they weren't "just being polite!").  Another addition?  Clear Sugar Sprinkles on top of the pie (basically coarse granulated sugar - but it's in the "sprinkles" section of the baking aisle of the grocery store).  Made it even "prettier!"  Shame I didn't take a picture, huh?!

Anywaaaaayyyy...  My hands/feet held-up pretty well and were "flare-free" until around Friday afternoon.  I managed to get my grocery-shopping done in a semi-hobbly fashion.  But by Saturday morning (the DAY of the party), I was starting to feel like a friggin' mess (which p*ssed me off - more than you can imagine!).

I was really-really glad I hadn't overestimated my Hostess-With-the-Mostess skillz.  I did opt for pre-made Macaroni and Potato Salads (and - to be fair - Smart and Final does sell a most delicious "Sliced Home-Style" Potato Salad).

I kind of regretted "passing" on the pre-made/pre-chopped fresh veggie platter - but I had a 'Frigerator-Full of fresh organic veggies!  And, besides, pre-made Ranch Dip totally sucks - out loud, even!

So my June Cleaver Duties were limited to prepping burger fixin's (lettuce, tomatoes, onion slices); making fresh dips (Ranch for the veggies; Onion for the chips); Chopping fresh organic veggies for the crudités (which is Fancy-Schmantzy French for chopped-up carrots, celery, broccoli, cauliflower and zucchinis!); and the Pièce de résistance: Fresh-baked Orgasmic Cherry Pie!

Everything else was pretty-much Grab 'n Go: 3 bags of potato chips; couple cans of Bush's Baked Beans; pre-formed burger patties (fresh, not frozen!); a package of kielbasa, and some boneless-skinless chicken breasts.  And buns, of course!

So Saturday morning was spent on the aforementioned prep items:  Stand for 15 minutes to do some prep-work, then sit for 20.  Stand for 15, sit for 20.  Lather, rinse, repeat!

There was "Outdoor" prep-work to be done as well: Windexing the table and bar-tops, sweeping leaves, and general "Straightening-up" but I was conserving the "Finite Number of Footsteps" I was allowed that day.  And I think hubs *might* have given me the 'Stink-Eye' - a time or two - when he caught me "sitting!"  Oooops!

Anyway...  Long Story Short (Too Late!): The party was a success.  Hubs' friends are super-cool, super-fun people and they swam in the pool.  Then we laughed and drank, and ate, and sat around socializing til late into the evening!  We even got to use our Propane Patio Heater (no clue if it's the same kind or not - we've had it awhile!).  It did a phenomenal job of keeping us warm, anyway! (We *don't* get pleasantly warm summer evenings here in No' Cal!) (But - OTOH - we don't get eaten-alive by skeeters either!)

As they were getting ready to leave, I glanced down at the kitchen table and spotted: "Oh sh*t!  We didn't eat any pie!!!" So I made everybody sit down and eat a slice and - like I say - got Rave Reviews!

So yeah - fun party!  And I really wish we did this sort of thing more often.  In fact, we DO have a "Neighbor Party" on the calendar for mid-August.  And I'm thinking of setting up another "Couples Party" at some point in the not-too-distant future because - Seriously! - It *is* a lot of fun to have people over (Yeah, it's WORK too - but!  Totally worth it!) - and we have the Ultimate Party Yard so it seems a shame to waste it.

I'd LOVE to go back to throwing big "Themed" Parties - like I used to do when I had a Family. (We'd usually do Hawaiian/Luau Themed Food and such).  But Burgers and Dogs seem to work just fine, too - and not NEARLY as much work!

Nevertheless - even though we kept it pretty low-key - I totally "paid for it" on Sunday.  My friggin' feet were a mess-and-a-half, and I was confined to the recliner all day - just so I could keep my swollen feet propped up. :::sigh::: (And I'm *still* pretty ouchy - even today!)

Oh well.  Whaddya gonna do (besides p*ss and moan, right)?!

It really does suck, though.  On the Plus (?) Side:  We are back to "being robbed of summer" so I don't feel too terribly awful about not spending Every Waking Moment outside.  OTOH, it's starting to be Harvest Season and that is the Absolute Best Part of Gardening: Wandering around the garden, every afternoon, checking on your harvests, picking what's ready, and *hoping* it makes it into the house.  Trouble is, it hurts too damned much to wander out that far :::sigh:::

Sorry - I think I said that this blog is s'posed to be my Happy Place and - well, right now, I'm not doing a very good job of it, am I?!

Here's hoping that the latest batch o' Toxic Drugs will have better results than the last batch................

:::sigh:::

Regularity: It's no Laughing Matter (or "WTF to do with 15# of plums!" - PRUNES!)

I have no idea why I titled this post thusly.  Probably because I'm brain-dead from dealing with plums!

Thankfully, neither Hubs nor myself have reached the stage in life where prunes are A Necessity!  Although hubs does tend to fixate - just a wee bit too much - about his "Fiber Intake." (I'll spare you the details!).

Anyway, remember the other day?

Here, I'll remind you:

Yes, 15 lbs of plums...

And they've been ripening, rather exuberantly, both in the basket on my kitchen countertop, as well as on (or beneath!) the tree out back.

And when I say "ripening exuberantly" I mean they are fast-approaching a stage that might be more accurately called "rotting!"  Friggin' Fruit Flies everywhere!  Oh and REGULAR flies in the backyard, right?  

We've got a BBQ/Pool Party coming up this weekend and I'd rather NOT have to subject our guests to a swarm of gnarly flies.  So this morning I awoke to ouchy feet (Grrrr), but I was DETERMINED to go out and deal with the "beyond-exuberant" fruit lying under the trees.  This included discarding the branches I'd chopped off of the broken peach-tree (Waaaahhhhh!!!) and the :::snif-snif::: "abundance" of lost fruit.

Now, our lot is appx 1/4 acre.  And appx 1/4 of that is The Garden + Orchard.  And there definitely ARE fruit trees and low-hanging branches and - truth be told - removing the rotting fruit was gonna present a challenge! Sadly, the Tractor Scoot was not the ideal tool for this endeavor (not enough space to maneuver around - at least not without putting an eye out via an errant branch!).  The dog's Pooper-Scooper seemed like a viable option - except it was only good for plucking up, maybe, half a dozen fruits at a time.  At that rate, I'd be working thru Christmas!

I momentarily debated turning the dogs loose back there - they'd make quick work of it!  But then I'd end up  having to clean-up an entirely different mess later (Ewwww!).

I ended up using a combination of a rake, a blue tarp, and a squishable bucket to relocate, scoop, and ultimately discard all of it.  Filled-up my [Friggin' HUGE] Green-Bin, I did!  And I managed to get it all done before the thermometer hit 90*! (Yay!).  

Oh yes, I DO like 90+ temps - as long as I am sitting on my lazy @$$ in the shade of a palapa while nursing a frosty beverage!  NOT when I have to perform manual labor! HA!

Anyway, after work this afternoon, I couldn't help but notice the fruit flies flitting around the sink.  And, well, it's was starting to smell a bit too "fruity" for my liking.  And after sweating like a pig, raking up dead peaches and plums, NATURALLY I wanted to spend my afternoon dealing with MORE plums! (And yes, BTW, the Farm Share delivery *did* include EVEN MORE FRIGGING PLUMS!!!).

Yep.  We got plums!

So what the hell can I do with plums that DOESN'T require pitting?  I Googled "Plum Juice" and learned that my juicer won't play-well with un-pitted plums ("Damn!").  Even those sites that I found for Prune-Making (and no, I didn't make note of any of 'em) mentioned that plums should be pitted before dehydrating.

Screw that - I know I've eaten prunes that DID have pits in 'em.  And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna sit here and try to "pit" 15# of plums.  No. Effin'. Way!

So I decided to make prunes - with SPLIT plums - so that means half of 'em will be pit-free!!!

This isn't exactly a recipe.  I'll just describe what I did - in case you're crazy or desperate enough to want to try this.

First off:  Most of the plum-making-instructional sites I reviewed recommended using a preservative.  Most suggested potassium sorbate (which, I believe, is used in wine-making).  I didn't have any, and I didn't feel like driving to a wine/beer-making shop.  I decided to go with Fruit Fresh and Lemon Juice.  No clue if that's the "right" thing to do - but whatevah!  It's what I did!

So I set-up a large bowl with appx 6 oz water, I added appx 2-3 TBS of Fruit Fresh (Dextrose, Ascorbic Acid, Citric Acid and Silicon Dioxide - Hmmm, doesn't sound very "organic" does it?!), and appx 1/2 cup of bottled lemon juice.

I sliced the plums in half - discarding any that were too "exuberantly ripe" ("squishy!").  If I was able to extricate the pit, I did (some of the "firmer" plums did play-nice!).  Then I dumped the halved fruits into the water/FF/lemon juice and let 'em soak for appx 10 minutes.  Then I placed them, skin-side-down, on my dehydrator shelves.

PSA: If your plum-gooze-slathered hands slip, and you manage to slice yourself with the knife?  Do not - I repeat - DO NOT use that hand to scoop the plums OUT of the lemon-juice/water bowl. ("You're Welcome!")

My Assembly Line

(Not pictured: The big ol' honkin' basket o' plums!)

I did this in several batches.  And I paused for "breaks" in between.  All told, it probably took a little over an hour.   I ended up with this:

Completely-full Nesco SnackMaster dehydrator

(with optional "Add-A-Shelf" kit)

Now I didn't weigh how much I ended up with.  I'm guessing it was around 10-11# worth of fruit (after tossing the squishy ones).  I fired-up the dehydrator at 5:00pm tonight.  No clue how long it's gonna take, but I'll check it tomorrow.

I have NO idea how this is gonna turn out - but I'm sure I'll be reporting back!

The good news is: The Santa Rosa plum tree is, pretty-much, done for the season (Yay!!!).  But Satsuma Plum is about ready to *start* producing (Good Gawd - Save me from the madness!).  Actually, this is Satsuma's first "producing year" so it shouldn't be too bad (She says, delusionally!).

In other news:  Yesterday's Jam?  Well, first off: It didn't "set" properly (DAMMIT!).  No clue why!  This batch of fruit wasn't as runny as the plum jam was, and I used the same quantities of fruit and pectin :::shrug:::

I did stick one jar in the fridge and it did thicken-up once it was chilled.  I also sampled a taste of it and - DEFINITELY - omit the cloves.  Waaaaaayyyy too strong - at least for jam.  Now I'm sure it will taste simply delightful if it's used on, say, dessert crepes or something like that.  Or maybe rolled into a puff pastry dough?  But spread on your breakfast toast?  Not so much.  

And LASTLY:  I ate the LAST JAR of Sweet Corn Apple Relish :::GASP:::

I swear, that sh*t is soooo good, I can eat it cold - straight out of the jar!

Anyway, I have a fridge full of fresh corn on the cob (and the Farm-Share added to THAT collection, as well!), and Celery (again, Thanks Farm-Share), and pretty-much everything I need to whip-up another batch!  I think, if I find some energy, I might tackle that tonight!  Can NOT run out of Sweet Corn Apple Relish.  Noooooo!!!

Okay, was this post rambly enough?! (That was a rhetorical question!)  

I know I've got more stuff to report on: Bee Saga Updates (I downloaded the pictures, at least!), and Aquarium News.  The Garden - other than the trees - is still pretty quiet, overall.  I'll try to get back to our "Regularly Scheduled Programming" shortly.  In the meantime, I rather enjoy blathering mindlessly ;-)~

-QT

Recipe: QT's Low-Sugar Spicy Mixed-Fruit Conserve

AAAACCCCKKKK!!!!  I am in the midst of a bona-fide Fruit Frenzy!  Plums-a-plenty, Leftover cherries (from my Orgasmically Delicious Fresh Cherry Pie); Salvaged white peaches; And a dwindling supply of fresh apricots from the neighbor's tree.

Yep.  Feeling pretty overloaded.  And last night I was soooo successful at avoiding Productive Work that, well, nothing got done!  And the fruits continued to -ahem - ripen on the countertop.  Well, except for the cherries, those got stashed in a bowl in the fridge (and they generated quite a bit of cherry-juice in the bowl - which got dumped into the jam mixture).

So today was pretty hectic, work-wise.  But I did manage to blanch and peel the plums and peaches between emails.  Hint for blanching/peeling peaches: Score the bottom with a knife "in-line" with the peach's "butt-crack" line.  It'll make it easier to split and de-pit later.  Another helpful hint: Don't blanch fruit for too long (30 secs to 1 minute tops), otherwise it will start to cook and you'll never get the peels off without sacrificing a lot of fruit.

Oh, and apricots don't peel.  So don't even bother trying!

Pitting? :::sigh:::  Pain in the tush!

Anyhoooo...  I promised a recipe, so here goes:

QT's Low-Sugar Spicy Mixed-Fruit Conserve
Yield 5 x 12 oz jars + 1 x 8 oz. jar

Ingredients:

• 8 cups (~4lbs) prepared fruit, skinned and pitted (except the cherries - leave the skins on).  I used peaches, apricots, plums and cherries
• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 3-1/2 cups sweetener (I used 2 cups sugar, 1-1/2 cups Splenda)
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg
• 1/2 tsp ground cloves (I'd cut that back - or eliminate it)
• 1/2 tsp ground allspice (Again, cut back or eliminate)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract (the real-deal). (Might bump that up to 2 tsp, next time)
• 3 (+1/2) TBS Low/No-Sugar Pectin (the Ball brand jar of pectin called for 3 TBS, but I like a firm set)

Instructions:

1. Blanch and peel and de-pit your plums and peaches.  Don't bother with peeling the apricots or cherries.
2. Chop into 1/2" pieces (or whatever size you like your jam chunks to be). I ended up quartering the cherries - mostly because I wanted to make sure the jam was pit-free!
3. Sprinkle a little lemon juice (maybe a tsp) to keep the fruit from browning while you're prepping...
4. Mix the pectin, in a dry bowl, with appx 1 cup of sweetener.  Mix well with a fork.
5. Dump the sweetener+pectin in with the fruit, along with the lemon juice, and mix well.
6. Put the fruit/sweetener/pectin on the stove in a LARGE pot and cook, stirring constantly, on Medium-High 'til well-heated and well-mixed.
7. Add the rest of your sweetener.
8. Bring to a hard boil, stirring constantly.  Boil hard for one full minute.
9. Remove from heat and check for "set."
10. If it's set properly, ladle the jam into hot, sterilized half-pint jars (I use the "sterilize" + "heated dry" cycle on my dishwasher).
11. Cap 'em and stick 'em in a canner.
12. Process in a Water-bath for 7-10 minutes. (I'm limited to a Steam Canner - but I haven't killed anyone, yet!)
13. Remove them and let them sit, undisturbed, overnight.
14. Make sure the lids popped.  If one (or two) didn't, pop 'em in the fridge and use them right away...

Jam should be good, stored at room temperature for at least 6 months (I rarely have my jams last longer than that!).

Thoughts on the outcome: I think I went a little too heavy on the spices.  The cloves definitely "stand-out" from the fruit.  So I'd definitely dial-it-back next time.  It's still very good - just very spicy! (I'd have preferred to have the spices be more subtle.  "Oh well!")

Random assortment of pictures:

Nekkid Fruits!

Plums, Peaches and Apricots (cherries are hiding in the bottom)

Between the cherries and the plums,

pretty damned juicy!

Sugar+Pectin on the left.  Spicy fruit mixture on the right.

All done!!!

I am curious to know how it tastes after it's melded a bit.  Maybe I'll pop the small jar open tomorrow and stick it in the fridge.  Maybe the spices will mellow-out a bit...

It definitely IS tasty!  And a good way to dispose of a fairly large quantity of fruit!

Addendum 07/13/12: Eliminate the cloves!  They overpowered the recipe.  Even after giving it time to - ahem - "mellow" in the fridge.  


Also for some reason, this batch of jam didn't "set-up" properly.  It does thicken-up once it's put in the fridge, however. 


Overall, I'd say this is a nice "zippy" jam.  Not necessarily a "spread on your breakfast toast" jam (and I don't think it would work well on PB&J sandwiches!).  But it would work very nicely as a filling for dessert crepes, or a topping on some ice cream!

Now, onto those plums.........................

Summer Ramblings and Backyard Ponderings...

Warning:  Rampant Rambling Ahead (I'm trying to avoid doing anything productive, k?!).  But there're pictures and Geeky Glee and Garden Ramblings ahead!

That said:  Let's proceed, shall we?
So, while the rest of the country has been sweating their collective @$$es off with record-breaking heat-waves, we here in California have been lamenting the pitiable LACK of summer weather!

I mean, it's been "pleasant" - don't get me wrong.  Mid-70's to mid-80's.  But nighttimes are downright chilly.  And the afternoon winds have been pretty suck-ish.  Kinda cuts into my "Laze-By-The-Tiki-Bar" Activities (which are VITAL to my sanity!).  Honestly?  I'm a mid-90's kinda gal.  I'm even good up to Triple-Digits 'cuz, well, "It's a Dry Heat!"

Srsly.  I visited good friend  and colleague, Joysey-K, in late-July/early-August one year.  Temps in the upper 90s with, like, 642% humidity ("Jeezus - people LIVE here?!!").  Whenever she asks me if I want to visit again I tell her "No.  If I wanna remember a Jersey Summer, I'll just plunge my face into the hot tub and attempt to inhale!"

Annnnywaaaayyyy...  As of TODAY we are starting to experience Summer!  Mid- to Upper-90's - YAY!  And it's early evening, and I'm still sitting outside in my shorts 'n tank top.  There's a light breeze (nice, actually), and I'm enjoying tunes and a Margarita at the Tiki Bar!

Speaking of Tunes:  I cannot BELIEVE that Joysey-K "scooped" me on something Techie-Related!  See, she called me and told me about how her brother had this cheap "Tablet" computer that he'd bought from Big Lots for $89.00, right?  And I kind of interrupted her and said "Oh, yeah - I've got one of those, too.  It's a total piece of sh*t!"

And honestly?  It is!  I mean: if you're looking for a portable computer (this was before I got my Netbook).  Yeah, they've got WiFi capabilities, but they are abysmally slow internet-wise.  I mostly used mine as an e-Reader for my Google Books - since the "Tablet" (Wannabee) was running an Android platform.  I have since switched-over to Kindle (but what-evah!).

Forget about Facebook - waaaay too slow.  And when I tried to hook-up with my Netflix account, it was a solid "No-Go!"

Well, after I finished b*tching, Joysey-K pointed out that her brother uses his as a Jumbo MP3 Player and Movie-Machine by transferring his files onto Monster-storage SD-Cards.

Well.  HELL!  Why didn't I think of that?!!  D'oh!

So then I spent an hour or two trying to figure out where the hell I'd stashed the damn thing!  Someplace Super-Safe, no doubt!  Cleaning various cabinets/closets/nooks - much to Joysey-K's Delight (She's a Clean-Freak!  She vacuums and dusts *FOR PLEASURE* people!!!).  I did, eventually find it.  And I did confirm that, yes, it WILL accommodate a Monster-Storage SD card.  I found an 8Gig card and proceeded to move MY ENTIRE MP3 Music Library to the SD card.  Then I found a 6' Audio-Cable and dragged it out to the Tiki Bar and hooked it up to our ersatz Bar Stereo: A marine stereo in a waterproof housing, sitting on the "sink" - and running to a couple of Tiki Toonz Speakers! (Actually - sounds awesome ever since Hubs rigged-up an external amp!).

This is soooooo cool because now I have my FULL music library - literally - at my fingertips.

Yep.  I don't even have to get off my lazy duff to change the music!

Way Cool Tiki Toonz Speakers!

So the "Tablet" (Wannabee) Computer is still a complete POS (as a computer).  But as an MP3 player?  It totally ROCKS (Literally, even!).

And I have Joysey-K to thank for the Advice!  Thanks!!!

In Other News:  I wandered out to the Garden this afternoon (although it appears my SOLID WEEK of being able to walk and function like a normal human being is coming to an end - OUCH!  Thankfully, I've got new Rx Meds to try - Yippy F**kin' Skippy!) (Jayzus!  One of the prescriptions costs over $400 Retail!  No Sh*t!!!)

Anyway...  I wandered back and spotted THIS!

It's Stephanie Stupice of the Finny Farm!

Why, I do believe she is ready to be harvested!!!

She was DELICIOUS!!!

(and kindly ignore the reptilian skin on my finger.  This is how it looks when I'm "feeling good!")

(I won't post pictures of how it looks when I'm feeling like sh*t!)

So then I turned my attention to the Santa Rosa Plum Tree.  Remember my Love/Hate Relationship?  Well, we are fast-approaching that "Hate" stage!  I'd posted on FB a couple of nights ago about how "Pitting plums is booooooring!" and one of my friends replied that she had been up 'til after midnight, the night before, peeling and pitting 52 CUPS of plums.  52 CUPS!!!  Jeeeez Loueeeeeze!  I was b*tching about 8 Cups!  I just can't imagine!

Well, I pretty-well filled up my Harvest Basket (which is ample!).  I drug it into the house and figured I oughtta weigh it, just for sh*ts 'n grins.  Had to use the bathroom scale!

Yes, there's a decimal on the scale.

Let's just call it 15 lbs, k?

Good Gawd!!!  "WTF am I gonna do with ALL THESE FRIGGIN' PLUMS????????"  And yes, there are more to be harvested still on the tree!!!

Rinsing 'em in the sink...

The plums are just gonna hafta wait because I've got OTHER fruits to deal with.  But I'm kinda thinking that this batch of plums is headed for the dehydrator because A) "Hubs needs his FIBER to stay 'Regular!'" (Ahh the joys of Modern Maturity!) and B) Dehydrating plums to make prunes is FAR less work than blanching/peeling/pitting to make jam! (Okay, mostly 'B!')

As for that other fruit???

Jam-bound!

Some of the "salvaged" peaches went in a paper bag with an apple and they do seem to have "mostly ripened."  I've also still got some leftover cherries, a few of my neighbor's apricots and - did I mention that I've got f**king plums?!! (So help me, if tomorrow's Farm-Share Delivery includes plums, I'll shoot myself!!!)

Anyway, I *should* be in the kitchen, right now, tending a potful of hot water on the stove and a separate bowlful of ice-water, blanching and peeling and pitting the peaches and plums (and maybe apricots - haven't decided if I'll peel 'em yet!).  But instead, I'm nursing a margarita and rockin' out at the Bar!  

Oh, and "rambling" about what I should-be doing (and probably WILL be doing - once the sun goes down!).  It's a form of "Motivational Therapy" k?!!

That's MY story, anyway!  And I'm stickin' to it!!!

To be fair, I have done Valuable Google Research to cobble-together a suitable "Mixed Fruit" Jam recipe.  And yes, I WILL post it - once I'm done!

Recipe: Orgasmically Delicious Low-Sugar Fresh Cherry Pie!

Oh-Em-Gee!  Have you ever had FRESH Cherry Pie?!  Like, made from FRESH, JUST-PICKED cherries?!!

I must shamefully admit that, No, I have NEVER experienced Fresh Cherry Pie.

I've had "bakery" cherry pies from the grocery store (Ick!).  I've had frozen cherry pies.  I've made "fresh-ish" pies from canned cherry filling (High-Fructose Corn Syrup, anyone?!).  And I've had "fresh" cherry pies from Marie Callender's and Heidi's Pies (family-owned restaurant in San Mateo, CA).

Well.  I had NO clue what I'd been missing.  No sirree!  No clue whatsoever!!!

So a couple of days ago, I succumbed to temptation, and delusion, and what-EVER, and loaded up on produce from our local farm-stand, Giordano's. (Note: I get no "spliff" or nuthin' for posting links.  I just LOVE Giordano's farm-stand THAT MUCH, k?!)

Yeah, they had a display like this:

Okay, this is actually an older photo and they didn't have *quite* this many cherries...

But the display was still irresistible and I loaded up on several pounds' worth...  All of Giordano's cherries are picked, on-site, on the day they are sold.  They are amazingly delicious!

So I picked up a large basket of Rainiers (the yellowy-orange variety) and - I think - a large basket of Brooks.  Bings are nearing the end of the season (:::sigh:::).  The cherries sat on our countertop for a couple of days (and I ate handfuls of cherries 'til I was damn-near sick!).  

Well, today...  After catching-up on work emails, I determined that it was going to be a blissfully slow day so I dragged out my Cherry-Pitter (Christmas Prezzie from hubs - Yay, hubs!)...

Note: This is a very cool li'l gizmo and a HUGE time-saver.

But it is NOT foolproof.  We discovered more than a few pits in the pie.

(Ooooops!) ("Oh well!" Just proves it's home-made, right?!)

And I ended up with a bowl-full of cherries that looked something like this:

Yummmm!!!

And I consulted the Great Oracle, Google and found this (which was dutifully "Pinned").

And I ended up with THIS:

"Ohh-Emm-Eff-Gee!"

Okay, so I followed the recipe, pretty-closely, but I'll repost it with my Low-Sugar Mods and "suggested improvements"

QT's Orgasmically Delicious Low-Sugar Fresh Cherry Pie

Yield: One 9" deep-dish pie

Time: ~30 mins prep time.  ~50 mins cooking time

Ingredients:

• 4 cups of sweet cherries, pitted and de-stemmed (I used appx 50/50 Rainier and Brooks) (Forgot to weigh 'em - sorry!)
• 4 TBS Tapioca
• "just shy of" 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• "slightly more than" 1/2 cup granulated Splenda
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 3/4 tsp vanilla extract (the real-deal).  Orig recipe called for 1/2 tsp
• 1/8 tsp almond extract (again, real).  Orig recipe called for 1/4 tsp (but I think that's too much.  I used that qty and it tasted too almondy, IMHO)
• 1 TBS softened butter
• 2 crusts for a 9" deep-dish pie (I cheated and went with store-bought, frozen [bottom] and refrigerated roll-out [top])
• 1 egg white and a smidge of water

Instructions:

1. Pre-heat your oven to 450*.  While it's pre-heating, rinse and pit your cherries.
2. Thaw your crusts (if you're lazy like me), but keep 'em cool in the fridge.
3. Dump the pitted cherries in a bowl.  Add tapioca, salt, sugar/splenda, vanilla and almond extracts.  Stir as best you can (Mine was pretty dry - but that's a GOOD thing!  I'm not fond of gushy-goozy pies!).
4. Beat your egg-white + smidge of water (maybe a tsp?) lightly with a fork.  Remove bottom crust from the fridge and brush egg-white on the bottom crust.
5. Dump your fruity/sugar mixture into the crust. It can "heap" a little bit, but not too much (unless you want fruit goozing out!).  Blorp butter blops on top of the fruit (say that three-times fast!)
6. Dampen the outer edges of the bottom crust with a wet finger.  Unroll your top crust and place it on top of the bottom crust.  Cut off excess and squidge the top + bottom crusts together with your fingers to seal 'em together.
7. Cut vent hole(s) in the top.
8. Brush the top crust with more of the egg-white (you'll have too much egg-white - don't worry about it!)
9. Place the pie in your pre-heated oven and cook @ 450* for 10 minutes.  Lower heat to 375 and cook for an add'l 35-40 minutes 'til the fruit is bubbly and the top is brown.
10. Allow pie to mostly-cool before serving.

TOTALLY enjoy it!

Here's a couple more pics of the pie "Under Construction:"

Mixing the pie-guts

Yes, it's dry - but this is GOOD. It makes for a non-gloopy pie!

Filling the bottom crust.

Don't forget to blorp butter on top!

Fresh out of the oven

It smelled *almost* as good as it tasted!

Yep.  I am FOREVER spoiled now and will NEVER look at a Bakery Cherry Pie the same way again...

Amazingly delicious!!!