Saturday, April 14, 2012

I'm having a Pity Party - And no one's invited! :-P

(Warning: Whining and Rambling and Ranting ahead!)

I'm prob'ly gonna lay low for a few days b/c I feel like sh*t again...

Hubs and I took Friday off because we were supposed to go to Strictly Sail - a sailboat show up at Jack London Square up in Oakland (the part of town where, hopefully, people *don't* get murdered regularly!).

I've always enjoyed the show because *I* think it's FUN to crawl around on boats that we could never, EVER afford! (Hubs doesn't share my enthusiasm for multi-hulls - but he *would* like, someday, to buy an offshore-suitable monohull boat, in the 30-35-foot range).

And, afterwards, we always make our annual side-trip to Forbidden Island - only THE coolest Retro-Style Tiki Bar EVAR!!!

Welllll... The rainy-monsoony weather on Friday postponed our Strictly-Sail Adventure 'til Sunday. But in the meantime, my freakin' reptilian psoriasis decided to flare-up again - in a BIG way! So bad, I decided to contact my dermatologist, and ask for direction on what to to to prevent it from getting any worse...

Now, I absolutely do NOT want this blog to become a place where I piss and moan about health issues. Hell's Bells! I'm only in my 40's - but I feel like a friggin' octogenarian sometimes!

Nevertheless... I feel compelled to rant just a *teeny* bit!

Doc was so concerned that she scheduled me for a follow-up app't ASAP. So I spent a couple of hours - on my Day Off - at the Stanford Dermatology Clinic. In an Exam room with not one - but TWO nurses and... Not one... Not two... But THREE doctors all looking at my hands and feet and scratching their heads simultaneously while (quietly) muttering acronyms amongst themselves.

GAWD I hate that!!!

The long-and-the-short-of-it is: They think, maybe, my home phototherapy unit (Narrow-band UVB) might be "out of calibration" and maybe, just maybe, this isn't a psoriasis-flare. It *might* be that I am badly sunburned. In other words: 1) No immediate relief in sight. 2) I need to get ahold of the manufacturer of the phototherapy unit and make arrangements for a Tech to come out and re-calibrate the machine. 3) I need to stop phototherapy IMMEDIATELY (which was the ONLY thing that *had* been working - prior to this) and 4) I need to go get a bunch of blood-tests to rule-out anything more insidious and they *might* consider changing my treatment plan...


Bottom Line: Doc says "Stay off your feet" and "No Boat Show for you." Also: (it goes without saying) "No Gardening," since I can't stand - let alone walk. And she'd already told me "No Clay-Play" a few weeks back (nevermind that it hurts my feet, too much, to even walk out to The Shack in the backyard!)...

I am bummed in a Big-Time, Major-League way....

Today was PERFECT weather for garden chores. Sunny, kinda breezy, but definitely NOT too hot. Hubs did the whole Mow-and-Blow thing, then he headed up to the boat to tackle a few "Prepare for Launching" chores. I spent the day in the recliner (buried under weenie dogs), watching Netflix and generally feeling sorry for myself.

I broke, briefly, when P stopped by to drop off my birdhouses from the workshop a coupla weeks ago. Then we wandered out to the studio so I could give her bisqueware from my last firing.

Birdhouses - complete!
I'm happy with them (In spite of my Pity-Party Mindset :-)

I whined and moaned to her about my "Pity Party" and she tried to be reassuring, giving me a hug and saying "This will pass" (and that's true). But, really, I am pretty p*ssed-off at LIFE at the moment. I mean, ever since my Diabetes Diagnosis, I've given up a WHOLE lot of stuff that was Very Important to me - PERMANENTLY.

I gave up my horse - because I just didn't have the energy to care for him anymore. I've given up SCUBA diving because, quite frankly, after my last black-out (WHILE diving!) I just don't think I want to drown to death. I've given up motorcycling because I've lost my edge (but I'm still clinging to hope that maybe, someday, I'll be able to do it again. MAYBE. So I have kept my bike!). And now? Friggin' psoriasis is preventing me from pursuing my ceramic "art" (Okay, probably more "therapy" than art - but still!). Yeah, I *could* wear gloves - but the whole thing about Clay-Play is the "tactile" experience, right???

Anyway... I'm kind of in a semi-dark place right now. No, I'm not going to get sucked into full-on depression... I'm actually more "Pissed Off" than "Bummed" at the moment (and that's probably healthy) (I guess!).

And hubs - bless his heart - is *trying* to be understanding and I have to give him credit for that. But he's got that whole "Engineer-Mindset" and still seems to think that there *must* be a solution ("No, dear. There isn't! Believe me - if there was, I'd be pursuing it! Psoriasis is a chronic condition FOR WHICH THERE IS NO CURE!"). I had warned him, early on in our Dating Career, that I rarely get sick - but when I do, it is generally something "out of the ballpark!" (and he is finally starting to believe me!)

Diabetes isn't rare, but the case *I've* got requires insulin at levels that would KILL any other diabetic (and I had to go thru NUMEROUS doctors before they figured that out!). Psoriasis isn't rare, either. But the case I've got has the staff at Stanford University puzzled...

And the beat goes on..................................................

Anyway - I "entertained" myself today by watching documentaries and yada-yada on Netflix about "Alternative Medicine." A couple of the shows I watched talked about Juice-Fasts so maybe, just for sh*ts and grins (:::eye-roll::: at my sick pun), I might give that a try. I get a refrigerator-full of fresh, organic veggies delivered every-other-week - and I *do* have a juicer, so maybe I'll give that a "go." (Yes, another sick pun!)

Can't hurt, right? Quite honestly, I DON'T want to add more pharmaceuticals to my Daily Diet if I can possibly help it (and the drugs that the Doc is suggesting have a veritable boatload of side-effects that probably won't "play well" with my current "conditions")...

We'll see. In the meantime, I am just "hanging in there" and trying to make the best of an otherwise miserable situation. :::sigh:::


P.S. Bee-Trapper didn't make it out on Friday - but he should make an appearance next week. So, hopefully, the Bee-Saga posts (infinitely more entertaining) will return soon!

No comments:


View my page on Meet the Phlockers