Monday, April 9, 2012

Bee Saga: Chapter V - Monster Tree

More rambling ahead (but at least I'm gonna keep breaking it into manageable chunks!)...

Once again, if you missed the earlier posts, I suggest you start here: Bee Saga: Chapter I.

So where we last left off, I had:
  • Discovered that the (Killer) Bees had returned
  • Written to my online Beekeeping/Gardening/Blogger Friend
  • Met a Real-Life Beekeeper
  • Spoke to a Real-Life Bee-Trapper (excuse me, "Bee Removal Expert") (I still like "Bee-Trapper" better! And Google finds it, so it *must* exist!!!)
  • Contacted an Arborist...
Now Hubs insisted that - even though contracting the whole Tree-Removal thing was, in fact, "Man's Territory" - he felt that I needed to "be there" for the initial consultation.

But of course! "But" he admonished "don't make it sound like we want to get rid of the tree... I mean, this could be EXPENSIVE."

"Like Duhhhh! Ya think?!"

Now, in the meantime, I hooked up with Finnyknits (I'll have separate postings for The Finny Farm and all of the glorious seedlings I got from her!). As we were chatting, I brought-up my "Tree Dilemma" and the whole "Oh Christ, I hope we don't have to get The City involved" thing.

As luck would have it, Finny has had first-hand experience with this and she *even* wrote an article about it here. Her experience was with a Street-Tree (planted in the sidewalk planter, owned by The City, but the home-owner gets to pay for everything! Yay City Government!), whereas our tree is totally on private property - but I think we'll be facing similar hurdles...

The main take-aways I got from that were A) It's a "hot pain in the @$$" (direct quote!) and B) She had to PAY the City Arborist $300.00 just to come out! "Are you sh*tting me?!!" and C) Even if the tree is really-and-truly-dead, you *still* have to jump through all the hoops to get a friggin' permit to have it removed!

Well, here's hoping that our (privately-paid) Certified Arborist's recommendation will carry some weight with The City and we don't have to invite government officials onto our property.

While we aren't running a cannabis-plantation or meth-lab or anything insidious like that - ummm - "technically" we *might* be in violation of the city's tree ordinance which dictates that Every House Must Have At Least One Street Tree.

Side-story there: There *was* a street-tree out front, several years ago (although, "technically," I think it was in front of our neighbor's property). The tree really didn't look very healthy and, as the years went by, it got progressively less healthy-looking. One early-spring storm brought gale-force winds and the not-so-healthy tree toppled over! Onto the *very* spot where I normally parked my car!!! By some stroke of sheer-and-utter luck, my car was NOT parked in that spot, at the time!

That storm actually took out SEVERAL trees in our neighborhood and all of the "Sumdoods with chainsaws" made a killing that year!

But the moral of THAT story is: If you have an unhealthy tree, it is *far* easier to just wait for a storm to come and "take it out" rather than deal with The City to get the appropriate permits and all that bullsh*t (unless the unhealthy tree is gonna land on your house, of course!).

And, of course, now there's just a hollow stump left in the sidewalk. Can't exactly plant a replacement tree. And, quite frankly, I'd rather NOT have a tree pooping all over my car, year-round! Buttt... Point being: If we have to have the City Arborist come out, he's *probably* gonna make mention of the fact that we lack the requisite number of street trees and - "cha-ching, cha-ching!" - we end up with an even BIGGER bill ("JeeeeZUS!")

Annnnnnywaaaaaayyyyy... You *did* notice that this blog is titled "QT's Random Ramblings," yes? I'm living up to the "Rambling" again, aren't I?!! Hang in there - the story *will* continue!

In the meantime, hubs took it upon himself to interrogate Good Neighbor Bri. Bri grew up in the house next-door (his mom was the original owner of the house and is, therefore, Historian of our 'Hood!). Here is what we learned out about Monster Tree:

Monster Tree has been here since "before forever." It was growing in the ground (at ground level), and was surrounded by decorative rocks and a rustic post-and-rail kinda fence. The previous owner of our house decided to build a retaining wall and raise (and level) the front-yard appx 2-3' so he could plant a lawn. So he did. He built a retaining wall and filled-in with dirt - ALL AROUND THE TREE'S TRUNK.

After that, according to Bri, the tree "took-off" and the trunk became MASSIVE...

Still, I'm pretty sure that's not the best thing in the world for the health of the tree (JMHO)..........

Okay, hubbie's home so blogging must stop (I'm getting too rambly anyway!), I'll continue this later...

No comments:


View my page on Meet the Phlockers