Saturday, January 31, 2009

The funny thing about irony is...

[Image - used with permission - from]'s so damned ironic sometimes!

Okay, Two (long-winded) Blurbs - then I'll be on my way!

1 - Okay, this is less "Irony" than "Adding Insult to Injury:"

So, after yesterday's run-the-truck-thru-the-car-wash-with-a-full-bladder debacle (No, I didn't wet myself! Thankyouverymuch!!!)... And - BTW - this wasn't the CHEAPEST Wash they offered - Ohhhh nooo! This was the $9.00 "Touchless" Wash option, with Bottom-Blast, and Wheel-Wash, and Clearcoat Crap, and Blow-Job, and Whatever...

Well, I walked out to the truck this morning and it looks even WORSE than it did before I ran it through yesterday!!! Whatever Ultra-Premium Clearcoat Whatchamacallit Krep they sprayed on it seems to dry as WHITE spots. I've got a damned polka-dotted black truck now!!!

2 - This one falls under the "Irony" Category:

So DH is in Deutschland right now. Berlin, to be precise. And he had a little bit of free time today (he flies home tomorrow), so I'd asked him to run to the grocery store and pick up a hunk of Raclette Cheese (something I've not been able to find around here - and even if I could, I doubt it'd be as good as the Real Deal). Raclette is a semi-firm cheese from Switzerland (that smells like old people's feet!!!) and it's really tasty when melted and poured over "other stuff."

We actually have a Raclette Grill and it makes for good "Dinner Party Fare." More on Raclette (it's a cheese, as well as a style of meal) here - if you're interested...

Then I got to thinking... Ooooh, something else I absolutely CANNOT find around here (and this is gonna sound Super-Gross to some, I'm sure!) is Beef Tongue - which is, like, a Bavarian delicacy.

Now bear in mind that my dad was stationed in Germany during WWII - and he had a definite fondness for German Food. Some of it was pretty weird, I'll admit. But since I grew-up eating this stuff, it doesn't seem strange to me, at all (Now my mom and sister would have *nothing* to do with most of his bizarre culinary creations! But I loved it! - Guess that's why I was always "Daddy's Girl!")

Now this was "back in the day" when Delicatessens were small, independent shops with all kinds of meats and cheeses and whatnot (and grocery stores carried mainly Oscar Mayer ham, bologna, Head-Cheese [ICK!] and maybe turkey!). I also have a vague recollection of standalone Butcher-Shops as well! (Heck, I even remember the clink-clink sound of the Milkman delivering BOTTLES of milk - to our house, even! Okay, *now* I'm showing my age!!!)

(Requisite Digression: "Gather 'round, kiddies... Let me tell you about the Old Days when you could pull into the Gas Service Station ["DING-DING!"] and 3-4 neatly-dressed guys would appear to fill your tank, wash your windshield, put air in your tires, check under the hood, ANNNNND you could "Fillerup with Ethyl" for less than five bucks!")

("No-No-NOOO! I *don't* have Dementia or Alzheimers! It *really* was that way!!! Go rent 'Back To The Future!' You'll see!!!")


...Nowaways, all of that has been absorbed into the local Mega-Grocery-Store. And the Grocery Stores cater to, well, the General Public - most of whom would think "Beef Tongue?!! Ewwwww!!!"

The last time I saw beef tongue offered was at a rinky-dink little New York Style Deli up in San Rafael (which is a HELLUVA long drive from here!).

Anyway, I shot-off an email to Rog last night - unsure of whether he'd get it in time (Berlin is 9 hours ahead). Then I realized he probably couldn't just walk into the local grocery store and ask for "Beef Tongue" - I needed the proper German words.

I tried Babelfish but couldn't come up with the right translation. I ended up calling our local German Restaurant, Teske's, and asked if there was anyone who would translate it for me! Sho 'nuff, they had a german-speaking waitress who gave me the translation and even spelled it out for me!

"Rinderzunge, geräuchert" is smoked beef tongue, if anybody cares!

Well, we exchanged a few emails, and Rog made his way to the grocery store. He found the cheese, then proceeded to the meat counter. Well, the lady at the meat counter didn't speak a word of English! He told her what he wanted, and he was able to discern that they didn't have it - but couldn't tell what else she was saying! Luckily, there was an Old Hippie at the store (Rog is an Old Hippie Magnet!), who did Sprechen Sie Englisch and Deutsch and was able to convey that Rog would have to go to the Butcher Shop across the street.

In the meantime, the question arose about whether or not Rog could actually bring a meat product back into the states!

He chose not to get the meat which - as I discovered @ 3:00am - is a prohibited item anyway! ("Das ist verboten!") So I emailed him back and agreed that it was "just as well" that he didn't get it.

So this morning I started Googling - trying to determine if there's any way to find/order a beef tongue. The "key-word" seemed to be to Google "Smoked Beef Tongue" (I'd Googled "Beef Tongue" in the past and really didn't have much luck). But when I added the word "Smoked" - I got a hit! Found a place, Bavaria Sausage, in Wisconsin that sells all kinds of Bavarian Fare and *does* carry Beef Tongue (Yay!). So I went ahead and ordered one...

At this point, I'm really, really CRAVING beef tongue! So I'm good now. Just have to wait for FedEx to deliver it (hopefully sometime next week).

* * * * *
Yeah, well Guess What?!! I went to the "higher-end" Grocery Store this morning: Nob Hill (it's the only store that carries Hood Calorie-Countdown [Low-Carb] Milk). Normally, I'd just get one or two things there, then do the bulk of my shopping at Lucky ("The Low Price Leader!") - but it's Saturday, and I didn't want to deal with the crowds.

Sooooo annnnnyywwaaaaaaaayyyyy.. I'm wandering through the meat section, right? What do I spy in the Bizarro-Organ-Meat Section (next to the liver, and tripe and Gawd-knows what else)???

Gawd-Damn!!! They had one lonely fresh Beef Tongue!

Swear-to-GAWD I have NEVER seen that carried at ANY of the stores around here!!

Well, into my cart it went!

So now I gotta hit Google again and figure out how to cook this monstrosity!!!

Too friggin' funny if you ask me!

Anyhooo... I'll post the results after I satiate my Beef Tongue Jones!

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