Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Bee Saga: Chapter II - Killer Bees!

Yes... More rambling ensues! But I figured it made sense to break-it-up into smaller chunks, at least!

Annnnd I'm getting a little lazy, but this is an "edited" Copy & Paste from a recent email to Ms. Finnyknits...

QT's Bee Saga - Chapter II - Killer Bees!

Okay, if you missed the earlier posts, I suggest you start here: Bee Saga: Chapter I. Go ahead, I'll wait!

I think I mentioned that we had a hive in our Big-Mamma-Jamma Pepper-tree, out front. And that hubs (who is deathly afraid and kind-of allergic) tried to have Pest-Control vanquish the hive last year - to no avail.

When we last "spoke" about the subject, I'd asked you for Apiarist-kinda Contacts who might be willing to remove said-hive - if hubs pitched a fit. And I would "wait and see" if the hive returned. Well. It did! (Sh*t howdy!)

I still have the list (thanks!), but I had indicated that I *liked* the bees 'cuz they're good for the garden and all that.

Luckily, hubs hasn't yet noticed that the bees have returned.

Not so luckily, I have noticed them and, well, it seems to me that there are WAY MORE bees than there were, last year.

And where, last year, they seemed content to buzz around my fruit trees and veggie beds in the back garden (and also near the pool equipment aka: HUBBIE'S DOMAIN - but he's not been back there much - YET!)... This year? Well, not so much!

So, this morning, I went out to my car, popped the trunk and grabbed something out of it. As I was about to close the lid, a bee flew in. I gently and politely waved him away, explaining "You don't want to get trapped in there, Mr. Bee." Whereupon Mr. Bee got kind of pissed and started buzzing me (and yes - these are the little honeybees - not the nasty hornet/waspy bastards). Then a couple of his buddies joined him, and they're all buzzing around my car and sh*t, when I'm trying to get in it, right?

And I'm all "C'mon guys! Back off! You DON'T want to go for a ride with me!"

And they're all "Yeah b*tch?! Swat ME away, willya?!"

And I'm all "Yeah! Take that you little f**ker!" (Okay, I didn't say THAT out loud. There are children in the neighborhood).

So then I get in my car after I, again, gently and politely waved them away. Then closed the door quickly.

Then, as I'm driving to the grocery store there's a goddamned BUZZING in my car because one of the little f**kers managed to sneak in!

I'm thinkin' "GREAT - that's JUST what I need! Wrap my car around a friggin' tree while I'm trying to swat a bee out through my open window while hauling @$$ down the street. Sh*t!"

Okay okay okay...

So back to the original question: Does the bee-population tend to explode during year #2? And what's up with this "wanting to go for a ride in my car" crap? Are they just bored and pissed-off that the peach-blossoms are all gone and there are no tomato blossoms to take their place? Are these, like, Oakland Gangsta bees who would otherwise be out tagging freeway signs because they're out of work and the educational system has failed them?

I guess I'm wondering if I need to worry about potential aggressive behavior and if - maybe - I oughtta call one of those beekeeper dudes and just get rid of the hive - once and for all.

* * * * *
So I won't post Finny's full reply, but the general gist was: Call a Beekeeper and get rid of the hive...

Next up: I meet a real-live beekeeper!

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