Recipe: Cranberry-Smoked Turkey Breast - Done!

She is DONE!!!

Well, the thermometer beeped, anyway!

It looks and smells positively HEAVENLY!!! I hope it tastes HALF as good as it looks and smells, right?!!

I have wrapped the turkey in heavy-duty aluminum foil. It didn't *quite* fit into the pot I'd set-aside, so I wrapped it up in a towel and plopped it into an aluminum pan, and inverted a second aluminum pan on top of that (to help retain the heat and let the Goodness soak-throughout...).

We'll slice into it a bit later....

Jeez... Smoking a Turkey Breast turned into a 3-day ordeal! I sure hope it's worth it!!!

Although - in the meantime - this did end up being a semi-productive day. I ended up mixing up a batch of Kiln-Wash and applying it to the floor of my kiln, as well as 3 kiln shelves. And I did another "test firing" (empty-kiln firing) to help "set" the kiln wash.

Idea behind kiln-wash is that it protects the kiln floor and shelves in the (hopefully unlikely) event that glaze-ware breaks/falls over during firing. Kiln wash will prevent the glaze-ware from fusing to the kiln and/or shelves. Of course, the piece will still be ruined - but the kiln will be protected!

So, while the turkey was smoking, I mixed up the "wash" and brushed it on the shelves per Sheffield Pottery's instructions. I probably could have gone straight to a bisque-firing - but I was worried because I've got underglaze on "both sides" of all of my greenware - and don't want to risk "stickage!" So I did a Fast-Glaze, Cone 018 Firing Profile (appx 1200* F). That should be enough to get the kiln-wash to adhere to the shelves, then I'll feel more comfortable about adding coat #2, and greenware, for a bisque-firing...

All Told: I think that today was Semi-Productive! Hopefully, tomorrow will be as well. I want to get out in the "original" shed - purge it, then re-load it in a semi-organized fashion, so we've got "space" to store all of our "Summer Furniture!"

One year, we actually rented a storage locker for the Summer Furniture. All-told, it cost MORE to store our sh*t than it would have to just Freecycle (or Donate) it, and buy NEW the following year (Ooooops!). Oh, well!

Anyhooooooooo.... Whenever we hack-into the Turkey Breast, I'm sure I'll post more pictures and commentary! Stay tuned.........................

* * * * *

Post-cooking Aftermath: Appx 1 hour later... The turkey breast is freaking orgasmically delicious!!! Seriously! I wouldn't change A THING!!! It is moist and tender and delectably delicious! I am actually surprised that the "final product" isn't pinkish - nor does it taste cranberry-y. It is just plain tasty!!! I am stunned and amazed - but it was TOTALLY worth all of the effort!!!

So - if you've got an Electric Smoker, just go-right-ahead and make this recipe, verbatim! You probably don't have to "stretch it out" to a full 3-days (like I did!) - 2-days oughtta suffice! - but I can most-definitely HIGHLY RECOMMEND this recipe. It really-and-truly *is* delicious!!!

Salud!!!

Recipe: Cranberry-Smoked Turkey Breast - Day #3 (Or: "Is there a Conspiracy???")

As I type this... We are in the Final Stages of Smoking! But it wasn't easy "getting here!"

So... Where we left off yesterday - I was soaking Apple-Wood Chips in an aluminum pan:

They kinda ended up soaking for over 24 hours :::sigh:::

Not sure if that's gonna be Good or Bad!

I wrapped up the wood-chunks in aluminum foil and poked holes in the foil. Put one big Foil-Chunk in the Smoker box, on top of the heating element, then stuck the others "between" the elements (I'm pretty sure aluminum foil *on* an electric heating element is probably a Bad Idea).

Foil-wrapped wood-chunks, in the base of the smoker...

I went to plug it in so it could pre-heat. Stuck a nekkid Meat Thermometer on the top-rack to see how it was doing.

Well, ummm, it didn't do *squat!*

WTF????

Well, upon further investigation, I determined that the electric heating element was - for lack of a better word - "Toast!" Every time I plugged it in to the GFCI outlet, it tripped the breaker. Boo! I tried a more heavy-duty extension cord, and got the same result. Double-Boo!

Yes, I could order a replacement element, online, for appx $40 (with shipping). But I've got a ready-to-smoke Turkey Breast in the fridge RIGHT NOW!

So, off to Home Depot I went...

And I immediately encountered THIS:

Eeeeeek!!!! NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thoroughly traumatized, I pressed ahead... Made my way to the Grill Aisle - hoping to find "just" replacement parts.

No such luck :-(

I ended up buying a completely new Smoker Unit for $69.95 - just so I could use the heating element in my OLD smoker. Sh*t!

So now I have a Brandy-New Smoker (although I stuck with the OLD smoker for this endeavor - just popped-in the new element). "Hello Freecycle!!!"

Finally managed to get the thing pre-heated!

(and actually, I'm surprised it heats this high!)

And *finally* managed to get Da Boyd into the Smoker (Yayyy!!!)

I put minimal liquid in the "water-pan" (appx 4-5 oz of cranberry/pomegranate juice + 4-5 oz of water). I did leave the water-pan in it's "normal" position (about 2/3 of the way "down" in the Smoker).

All told: It took just-over 3 hours to cook the breast to an internal temperature of 165*. We are hovering right around 163* now and I probably *could* remove it- but I'm gonna leave it in 'til the electronic thermometer beeps. I did "sneak a peek" at it and it looks positively luscious!

Once I hear the beeps, I'll pull the breast out, wrap it in foil, toss it in a pot with a lid and let it "set" for appx 1 hour (to continue heating up and juicify all of the Goodness!).

Mmmm, boy! I hope it tastes good enough to warrant all of this freaking WORK!!!

Stay tuned for updates........................

Credit Where Credit Is Due...

These are the websites where I got my "inspiration" for the Electric-Smoked, Cranberry Turkey Breast:

Good info on Electric Smoking of Turkey here.

Good "General Info" on smoking Turkey Breasts here.

A specific Cranberry-Smoked Turkey Recipe here.

And a Quirky Turkey Rub (that I didn't try - but it sounds damned interesting!) here.

As usual, I ended up "smushing together" info from various websites to come-up with My Creation (which may, or may not, turn out Fan-Freaking-Tastic!).

Just wanted to share!

Recipe: Cranberry-Smoked Turkey Breast - Day #2

I *did* say I was posting this in damn-near Real-Time, didn't I?!

Well, my plans for Turkey-Breast-Smoking got a little Bufoobalized when DH awoke with severe back / kidney pain this morning. We made a quick trip to the E/R (which ended up taking ~5 hours). No specific diagnosis, unfortunately (it wasn't kidney stones, anyway). But it seems it's not gonna be Fatal!

Anyway, it blew a big ol' honkin' hole in my day! As we drove home, I figured I was gonna just take the *entire* day off (we can take sick-days for tending to sickly family members), but somebody scheduled me for an afternoon meeting (and I had a veritable boatload of emails when I got back!). So I ended up working almost a full day...

I did manage to sneak out for about 20 minutes to dig-out and clean-up the smoker...

Looks like crap on the outside - but the bugs/spiderwebs/old, charred wood-chunks got cleared out of the inside!

The Turkey was supposed to "brine" for appx 12 hours. Ended up being a helluva lot longer than that!!!

Nevertheless, when we got home, I removed and "flipped" the breast over (since it was wanting to float in the brine, and the top-portion wasn't getting saturated adequately!). I let it soak for another hour-ish while I prepped the wood-chunks (details below)...

On the Plus Side: It *did* thaw out! (in fact, I moved it from the garage to the fridge before we left for the hospital).

On the Down Side: When you over-brine a turkey by soaking it in cranberry-juice, it tends to turn a bit pink!!!

So, when it was all said and done, I took the breast out of the Zip-Lock Baggie, rinsed it off in the sink then tamped it dry. Then I spritzed it with Spray-On Canola Oil and hit it with a dry-rub...

Coated with dry-rub... Looks a bit better!

Dry Rub:

• 2 TBS McCormick Grill-Mates Chicken Rub, to which I added:
• 1-1/2 tsp Rubbed Sage
• 1 tsp Minced Garlic (dried - ICK!)
• 1 tsp Thyme leaves
• 1/2 tsp ground Allspice
• 1/2 tsp Paprika

(I totally cheated with the "add-ons!" This was actually a McCormick "Recipe Inspirations" package for "Apple and Sage Pork Chops" that was on-sale at the grocery store).

Prior to rubbing the bird, I grabbed a few chunks of Apple Smoker-Wood and tossed 'em in a large aluminum pan, filled with water. I wanted 'em to get nice and wet so they'd smoke like crazy... The wood should soak for appx 20 minutes. Then you wrap the wood-chunks in heavy-duty aluminum foil; poke some holes in the foil; toss the foil-wrapped wood-packets into a smoker box (Metal box with holes in it - you could just as easily use a disposable aluminum-foil pan); then put the woodsy stuff directly on top of the electric burner in the smoker.

Anyway, The Plan was to pre-heat the smoker to "as high as it would get" (evidently, my Brinkmann Model is notoriously under-powered - but whatEVER!), then plunk the wood and turkey breast into the smoker for appx 3-4 hours (with a meat thermometer - duh!).

The Reality was: My Afternoon Meeting, while very productive, took waaaaaaay longer than anticipated. So No Turkeys were Smoked today. Boo!!!

Sooooo... Turkey Breast got bagged in a new Ziplock Baggie, and tossed in the fridge. I think I'll be firing up the smoker (and - hell! - maybe even the KILN!) tomorrow...

Stay tuned................................

Recipe: Cranberry-Smoked Turkey Breast

Okay... This post is gonna be in "almost-real-time!"

With Thanksgiving coming, I figured I wanted to start "Messing with Turkeys!"

A couple-three years ago, I bought a Brinkmann Electric Smoker and - to be perfectly honest - it hasn't seen *nearly* enough use! So I figured I'd futz around with a Turkey Breast - just to see how it comes out!

For ACTUAL Thanksgiving, I will probably drag out my propane "Oil-less Turkey Fryer" (aka "The Big Easy" - which, to be honest, I really like it a LOT). It is actually more like a convection oven - but is still WAAAAAY the hell easier/cleaner than traditional roasting! And yes, I will post my T-Giving Preparations this year!

Anyway - in the meantime - I've decided I want to play around with the Brinkman Electric Smoker. It's GREAT for ribs and pork roasts - but I've yet to attempt poultry in it...

Tomorrow, all that's gonna change! I am smoking a turkey-breast, by golly!!!

Sooooo.... This evening, I ran over to the grocery store and procured a small-ish (~8#) turkey breast. Frozen-solid, unfortunately:

It does include the bones and also has a built in, pop-up, meat-thermometer (which I will be removing prior to cooking). It has also been "injected" with some kinda brine... But I hope to offset that with my OWN brine!

Here is the brine-bag:

Turkey-Breast Brine:

• 2 gallon Zip-Lock Baggie, filled with:
• 8 cups of water
• 8 cups of "Natural" Cranberry-Pomegranate Juice (sweetened w/Stevia - *not* High Fructose Corn Syrup!)
• 1 cup of Sea Salt
• appx 1 cup of Splenda "Brown-Sugar Blend" (50/50 Splenda + Brown Sugar)
• 2 TBS of McCormick Grill-Mates "Chicken Rub."

The primary ingreeeediments!

Nekkid, Frozen-Solid Turkey Breast (Hide the Children!!!)

I mixed up the liquids + spices and salt in a large Zip-Lock Baggie. Made sure that the salt and Sugar-Blend-Stuff was thoroughly mixed-in with the liquid. Then I plopped the Turkey Breast in the bag...

Like thus!

Now, since the breast is frozen solid (it actually came with a gravy packet - but it is "iced-in" - inside the bird!!! Nights/Early mornings around here are now in the low 40's, so I decided to stick the whole thing (bird, bag, pot and all!) in the garage. Hopefully, overnight, it will be able to thaw (but not give us food-poisoning - I hope!!!).

Tomorrow morning, I will rinse the bird off and fire-up the smoker.... I will post subsequent updates, as they occur (tomorrow!!!)...

"Second Home" Wild Hair...

Okay, I'm gonna try to squeeze in another post before it gets too chilly out here (Yes, I'm attempting to enjoy our simply-lovely October weather at the Tiki Bar and *trying* not to get depressed over the fact that our "nice days" are numbered!)...

So Friday, after the JB show, we hooked up with an old High School Buddy of Hubs. Ted and his wife, Sue. They live in Chandler, AZ. They live in a simply Drop-Dead-Gorgeous, Straight-Out-Of-HGTV Custom Home that *they* designed. Their home is in a gated community and... Well... As soon as we walked up to their front door I was feeling like we are TOTAL "White Trash!"

But... AZ real estate and CA real estate are completely different animals! And the AZ real estate market has totally "tanked" whereas *our* market is still (mostly) hanging in there. I'm sure that "in it's day," Ted's house was probably worth $1M+. Now? Less than half of that! Our house? During the heyday, it was worth appx $650K. Now, it's closer to $400K. :::sigh:::

Nevertheless.... We are not "under water" (and I'm not sure Ted can say the same thing, to be honest). We never have been and never will be (DH bought *before* the boom!).

Anyhoooooo.... We spent a most pleasant afternoon with Ted and Sue. Just kickin' it by their pool (with integrated spa, waterfall, fountain, yada-yada) and built-in outdoor kitchen. During the heat of the afternoon, we hung-out under their covered patio. It was freaking AWESOME!

And that got me to thinking: I freaking HATE California Winters. And yes, I know, California winters don't hold a candle to East-Coast and/or Northern Climes. But I am a professed "Wimpy California Native" who believes that "Snow is for VISITING!" If the mercury dips below 60*, I start whining!

So anyway... I ended up finding myself surfing the AZ MLS listings to see what housing was like. I'm sure it's no Big Secret, but the housing market has pretty-well tanked in AZ (as well as Las Vegas, NV - where my sister lives, currently).

It just kills me to hear my sister say she "can't find anything" - housing-wise. Seriously! I mean, the Vegas Market is probably damn-near identical to the Greater-Phoenix Market. And it's no huge secret that we both "made out" pretty "OK" with mom's estate. There is absolutely NO reason why *she* couldn't afford to buy herself a house - for CASH - and live quite comfortably. Particularly since (in Vegas, anyway) she's already got someone who wants to rent a room (which would certainly cover her utility expenses).

But the thing is: *She* would want to live in a house like Ted's (actually - come to think of it - at 3200 SF, Ted's house is probably "too small" for her liking!). But if one dials-back one's expectations, there are *definitely* some very nice houses to be had in the $100-150K range (actually, there's stuff for *under* $100K! But - to be fair - I don't know that I'd want a house in an under $100K neighborhood).

But Sis wants something in the 3500-4000 SF range (5+ bedrooms, 4+ baths, with a pool, granite countertops, 3+ car garage, in a gated community, yada-yada) for under $200K.

Not gonna happen!

And, interestingly enough, as we were chatting with Ted and Sue - who built their "Dream Home" from the ground-up, right?! - they are already talking about wanting to down-size because the house is just "too much to maintain!"

Soooooo... Oops - I've wandered off-track again! ANNNNYWAAAAAYYYYY.... My "expectations" are not all that lofty, to be perfectly honest. The whole idea of having a place where winter isn't so damned WET and GRAY and COLD (okay, maybe still cold - but not WET!), well, that seems kind of "appealing" to me, right?!

Added Bonus: Since I telecommute fulltime ("Oh Gawd PLEASE don't let me lose my job!!!!"), I don't really have to concern myself, too much, over the economy and job-situation, right? And since houses CAN BE HAD for $100K... Well, Hell!!! *I* could live here!!! Or - at the very least - keep it as a Second/Winter Home, right?!

So... I surfed the MLS and am looking at a couple-three different communities: Casa Grande (appx 40 miles south of Phoenix), Apache Junction (30 miles-ish? East of Phoenix), Chandler, and maybe others... I want to be far enough "off the beaten path" to avoid gridlock at Rush-Hour (and ohhhhh yes - they *do* get traffic! Nothing compared to the Bay Area, but still!), but I still want access to Life's Conveniences.

I'm only "dreaming" right now. But it's scary to think how EASY it would be to "pull the trigger" and make it happen! I could, very easily, write a check for a $100K 3BR/2BA 1800-2000 SF home; hit the local IKEA and buy a couple thousand dollars' worth of furniture; fix my car's A/C and drive her out there, park her in the garage (on a battery-tender, of course!), and Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom! "Second Home!"

We could maintain "Dual-Citizenship!" CA in Summer and AZ in Winter. Not quite "Snowbirds" - but maybe "Rainbirds!"

Of course, I think "Gardening" would be out of the question. Summers would be waaaaaayyyy too hot and winters - surprisingly - get COLDER than we get here! (Chandler is Zone 8. San Jose is 9B - Who knew?!!).

Anyway, it's just another one of my "Wild Hairs" that I am chewing on, at the moment... No clue if it will turn into Reality, but it's kinda fun to Dream, right???

AWOL in AZ... Jimmy Buffett Show!

Mac McAnally and Jimmy Buffett performing "Pirate Looks at 40"

Oops! Went AWOL again. Sorry 'bout that!

We had a brief, weekend sojourn in Tempe/Phoenix/Chandler/Peoria, AZ. See? Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefers did *not* do any shows in California this year (B@stitches!).

When they posted a last-minute AZ show, I turned to DH and said "You've got Southwest Miles, right? Let's GO!"

And so we did!

So Thursday, 10/20, we awoke at zero-dark-thirty and headed to the airport. Boarded our Freebie Flight (and were surrounded by wriggly, shrieking infants!) (Thank Gawd it was a short flight!). Arrived in PHX, took the Shuttle Bus 450 miles to the off-terminal Rental Car Garage, picked up our Ford Focus Weenie-Mobile, then checked into Candlewood Suites in Tempe.

First thing we needed to do was procure Margarita-Fixin's. No, actually, the FIRST thing we needed to do was EAT, so we went to Joe's Crab Shack. Now there's something rather ironic about traveling TO THE DESERT to eat crab. I actually suffered a bit of a moral dilemma/guilt-trip over ordering Dungeness Crab! (Seein' as how San Francisco is, like, FAMOUS for Dungeness Crab!). Anyway, the food was delicious - and Joe's Crab Shack looks like a TOTALLY fun place! I wish we had one closer to home!

SECOND thing we needed to do was procure Margarita-Fixin's! Now, one would think that a veritable metropolis such as Tempe would have an abundance of Grocery Stores. Not so! At least not where we were staying! So we relied on Bertha (Hubbie's GPS) to direct us to the nearest grocery store. He plugged in "Safeway" and, well, let's just say that GPS's aren't entirely fool-proof (meaning that us people operating said GPS are the "fools" in that statement!).

It was kinda reminiscent of P's and my "Adventure" with trying to find the airport in Texas. P's GPS directed us to a Military Airbase which - "technically" - IS an airport! (I'm just super-relieved that we allowed a WHOLE lot of time to drive back to the airport!!!)

Well, as we were following Bertha's directions, we entered a *very* industrial area and I was thinkin' (but not saying) that "this doesn't look like the kinda neighborhood for a grocery store!" Sure enough! Bertha was directing us to a Safeway "Distribution Center" with big-rigs galore!

We *did* end up finding an Albertson's - not too terribly far from where we. And - since there aren't an abundance of grocery-stores, they seem to "make up for it" by having MASSIVE grocery stores. Hell, I practically needed the GPS to make my way back to the checkstands!

Anyway, I raced through the store (DH was waiting in the car) to pick up everything we needed (including a couple of beers for Hubs). Selection of silver tequila was rather limited, so I opted for the 1.75L of Sauza. Picked up a couple jugs of Fresca and a bottle of Nellie and Joe's Key Lime Juice. I already had Splenda and coarse sea-salt back at the room.

After that, I was totally jonesin' for a Rita. So as soon as we got back to the room, I opened the fridge only to discover NO ICE!!! (AAAAAACCCCKKK!!!). Called the front desk: No ice machine either!!!!

Opened up my Tequila, Fresca and Lime Juice bottle - only to discover that the Lime Juice had gone BAD (ahem - it was BROWN! ICK!!!!).

So I quickly made ANOTHER trip to a "closer" Grocery Store (which turned out to be a Mexican Market - but whatever!). Bought a bag of ice and a pound of fresh limes (Yayyyy!!!).

It was an ordeal, but DAMMIT, I *got* my Sugar-Free Margarita!

I figured I wanted to get my buzz-on *before* we left for the show because I didn't want to "pay the ransom" for High-Fructose-Corn-Syrup 'Ritas at the show (although I did end up ordering a couple once we got there!).

Anyhoooooo.... Hubs did NOT want to do the Tailgate thing (:::::GASP:::::). And it was probably just as well because we'd pretty-well run out of time for getting to the parking lot early. Plus we couldn't tailgate "properly" without Willie, the Tiki Truck!

So, the show was FREAKING AWESOME! I actually really like their concert venue - a LOT. It is much more "Patron-Friendly" than Shoreline Amphitheatre. Not nearly as "steep" - in terms of steps to climb. And it's WAY more "open" meaning, when you go out to the concessions to buy another beer (or High Fructose 'Rita), you can still HEAR the show.

And People in AZ seem to be a lot friendlier, in general, than California peeps. JMHO....

It was a fantastic show and a great experience. And I got my Jimmy Buffett "Fix" for the year, so Life. Is Good!

There's more to yak about, but I'll post some "Wild Hair" (Second Home/Retirement) stuff in a separate post...