I've got CRABS! (Recipe: Crab & Shrimp Bisque - with BACON + Seafood Louie Salad)

I love living in the San Francisco Bay Area.  I especially love it when Dungeness Crab Season is upon us!

Dungeness Crab Season was particularly fun - back when I lived on a boat in South San Francisco.   I have many fond memories of having Crab Boils on the dock - which, naturally, resulted in full-blown dock parties! (Nevermind that we were huddled around the Cajun-Cooker, in gale-force-winds, with our teeth chattering!) (Yes, they are STILL fond memories!)  

We are talking about Mega-Fresh Crab.  There were some commercial fishing boats at the marina next door, and we'd buy our crabs FRESH off the boat!

Image Credit: Instructables
In fact, here is a link for cleaning/cooking dungeness crab

So yeah, I LOVE dungeness crab!  Don't love the messy/stinky prep-work- however - which is why this is kind of a rare treat around here.  Although...  If you ever have an opportunity to dine at Joe's Crab Shack (which we did - ironically - in land-locked Arizona!), be sure to steal the plastic crab-discombobulating tool.  It's a life-saver!

Yes, I stole it.  And I feel no shame! 

Side-Story:  Maryland Blue Crabs.  I have relatives in Maryland and while I was visiting one year, I bought a huge bag of fresh-cooked, still-steaming, Maryland Blue Crabs and brought 'em "home" to my cousin's.  They set-up the backyard picnic table with sheets of newspaper and several rolls of paper towels (and assorted hammers and forky/prier-outer-tools), and we had a delightful crab feast one evening.  But the thing about Blue Crabs is: They're the same amount of messy/stinky work - per-crab.  But Blue Crabs are much smaller - so it ends up feeling like 3x the work for one-third the quantity of meat!

Plus (IMHO) Maryland Blue Crabs just aren't as sweet or tasty as Dungeness (Sorry, Maryland!)

Yeah, so last week at the grocery store, cooked Dungeness Crab was on sale for $4.99/lb (Great Price), so I bought one!  I also picked-up a pound of salad shrimp and a loaf of sourdough bread...  Ohhhh there's gonna be a San Francisco Feast!!!

Originally, I was thinking I'd make a vat o' New England Clam Chowdah - but decided crab bisque would be better.  I couldn't find any recipes that exactly matched the ingredients I had on-hand, so I invented my very own recipe (Ooooooh!!!). 

Here goes!

QT's Crab & Shrimp Bisque - with BACON

Yield: Appx 6 generous servings

Ingredients:

• 4-6 slices of thick-cut bacon
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 2 cloves fresh garlic, minced
• 3-4 stalks of celery
• 6-7 leaves of fresh chopped basil
• 1-2 TBS unsalted butter and/or 1-2 TBS olive oil (if needed)
• 3 cans (@ 6 oz which nets 4 oz drained) crabmeat*
• 1 can diced tomatoes**
• 1 @ 8 oz bottle of clam juice
• 2 cups organic vegetable juice (like V8 - only without the high fructose corn syrup!)
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1-2 cups half-and-half
• Old Bay Seasoning (← mandatory ingredient!)
• Salt and (red) pepper, to taste...
• 1-2 tbs flour + water (optional - to thicken the soup)
• Handful of fresh crab and/or salad-shrimp (optional)

Instructions:

1. Fry up the bacon 'til crispy.  Remove bacon and tamp it with a paper towel.  Keep the bacon grease in the pan.
   Depending upon how fatty your bacon is, you might need to drain some off.  Spreckles is VERY lean, so I actually had to add olive oil and butter toward the end of cooking!
2. Finely chop your onion, garlic, celery and basil.  Toss it in your big pot with the bacon grease.  Add butter or olive (if needed).
3. Saute on medium-low 'til the veggies are limp and translucent.
4. Add clam juice, canned tomatoes, crabmeat and vegetable juice.  Bring to a light boil, then reduce heat.
5. Add sour cream and half and half.  Stir until heated through.
6. Let it simmer for 5-10 minutes (do not boil - you don't want to scorch the cream).
7. Grab your immersion blender and blend the soup 'til nearly smooth (it'll still be a wee bit lumpy - and that's okay).
8. Finely chop your bacon and toss it into the soup.  Add more fresh lumpy crabmeat and/or salad shrimp.
9. Give it a sample and add salt/pepper and Old Bay Seasoning to taste.
10. If it's too runny for your tastes, mix a TBS of flour with water and stir it into the soup, to thicken.

*Yes, I know the bisque base has (GASP) canned crab - but I wanted to use the majority of the fresh crab in our salads.  I did dump a generous handful of fresh crab in, at the end

**I would have preferred to use a quart of frozen-squozen tomatoes - but I ran out and had to use canned instead!

Image Credit: Old Bay
Love-Love-Love this stuff!

Okay, I'm gonna skip the whole "Cleaning/Prepping the Crab" tutorial (Messy work - and I didn't want Crab Gooze on my camera, k?!).  Go back to the Instructables Site if you need help!

Bisque on the stove...
This was before the immersion blender whirred all the chunky bits into oblivion!

Bisque in the bowl

"Get into mah belleh!"

Along with the bisque, I figured we needed a bona fide San Francisco Treat for dinner, so I also whipped together a most delightful Crab + Shrimp Louie.  Nothing particularly "original" here, but I figured I'd list the ingredients just the same...

Ohhh yeah!  Good stuff!

Crab & Shrimp Louie

Yields: 2 very generous salads (I couldn't finish mine!)

Ingredients:

• Meat from one freshly cooked/cleaned Dungeness Crab (minus the handful that ended up in the bisque)
• 1 lb salad shrimp.  These are the teeny, previously-frozen, de-veined/de-tailed shrimps.  Not the big finger-sized prawns. (Again, this is minus the handful that ended up in the bisque) (and you could probably get away with buying only half-a-pound for 2 salads - to be honest!)
• 1 bag of salad greens (Ohhhh, such a CHEATER!  But I supplemented with fresh red lettuce greens and spinach from my garden, k?!)
• Couple of smallish, sweet salad tomatoes (I used Campari tomatoes - which are actually 'pretty okay' for store-bought!)
• Half of a smallish red onion, sliced into thin rings
• Half of a thinly sliced cucumber
• 2 hard-boiled eggs, sliced
• Tiny can of sliced black olives (I only used about half - on two salads)
• 1 avocado, sliced
• 1 lemon
• Old Bay Seasoning
• Thousand Island Dressing
• Croutons (optional)

Instructions:

1. Rinse your salad greens and pile 'em up on a plate.
2. Arrange your other veggies (eggs, lemon) around the perimeter of the plate
3. Rinse (and dry) your shrimp and crabmeat.  Pile 'em up on top of the lettuce and sprinkle with Old Bay Seasoning.
4. Serve with Thousand Island Dressing and warm sourdough bread with butter.

Yummmmmm!!!

Rainy Day Recipe: Sweet Italian Sausage

According to NOAA, this isn't an El Niño year, but looking out the window..?  It sure looks like one!  Holy hell, has it been raining!!!

And, I think it was Friday night, I was lying in bed - trying to fall asleep, when it suddenly occurred to me that - ahem! - Christmas is on TUESDAY and I hadn't procured the necessary ingredients for our Mini-Christmas Feast!

So, THE SATURDAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS, I decided to tackle the grocery store.  I was practically having cold-sweats and heart palpitations in the friggin' parking lot!  Gawd, do I hate crowds!!!

If there are any of you out there who are facing a similar dilemma and have to hit the grocery store these final days, two words:  Protective Gear!  I'd hate to hear of anyone ending up in the hospital due to a dispute over the last can of sliced pineapple!

But I digress....................

I *did* survive my assault on the grocery store and we *do* have everything we need for our Holiday Repast.  Spreckles *will* be served!

Okay!  So the shopping (assault) got done and I found myself with an entire Saturday afternoon to kill.  The utterly crap-tastic weather outside severely limited my choices of leisure activities.  :::sigh:::

I had been perusing various recipe sites - looking for New and Exciting Ways to utilize some of the ABUNDANT pork in my freezer.  In fact, awhile back, I found a *most* interesting site on Sausage-Making: Lets-Make-Sausage.  What the hell, right?

About a year ago, I purchased a manual meat-grinder/sausage stuffer.  It was fairly inexpensive (I wanna say around thirty bucks), and it looked a lot like an old meat-grinder that my dad used whenever he had a hankerin' for fresh roast-beef or corned-beef hash.  When my mom died, and we were cleaning out her house, I was really-really hoping we'd stumble onto it - because I really WANTED it.  Unfortunately, it was long-gone.

Anyway, in a fit of nostalgia, I decided to order my own, new, meat-grinder thingie - thinking it would be the same as my dad's.  And yes, it does *look* like it.  But that's where the similarity ends.

Weapons of Spreckles Destruction

Firstly, my dad's grinder had a built-in C-clamp so you could firmly affix it to the edge of a counter-top.  Mine has four legs with holes so you can bolt-it-down.  Somehow, I don't think I want this as a permanent fixture in my kitchen!

Secondly, my dad's grinder could grind meat like nobody's business!  My grinder's box said "Grind 5 lbs of meat in one minute" so, naturally, I thought....  Well...  Let's continue the rambling, shall we?! ("Oh please!")

Okay, so anyway, when we picked-up Spreckles, both Finny and I ended up with something like 10# of Hot Smoked Italian Sausage apiece.  Hubs and I aren't big into spicy so I figured I'd make a batch of Sweet Italian Sausage using my handy-dandy/Just-Like-Dad's meat-grinder/sausage stuffer.

I used the "Gina's Sweet Italian Sausage" recipe from this page.  I'm not gonna bother re-posting the entire recipe, but here is the general gist of it:  5 lbs pork shoulder roast, cut into one-inch-cubes, then ground (I ended up using 2 store-bought roasts :::gasp:::) (Hey, they were on-sale and I wanna save the Spreckles roasts for smoking next summer!).  Then there's the seasoning which I prepared using the following ingredients:

Seasoning ingredients:

• 5 tsp cracked fennel (I found whole fennel seeds and I lightly crushed them with a mortar/pestle)
• 1 TBS salt (I would definitely recommend cutting back on that)
• 1 TBS fresh ground pepper (I think I used about 1/2 TBS - and that was fine)
• 1-1/2 TBS garlic powder (I used 1 TBS garlic powder and 3 large, fresh cloves finely minced)
• 2 tsp rubbed sage
• 1 cup cold white wine (I used Kendall Jackson Chardonnay - but I wonder if a sweeter wine, like a white riesling, might be better)

You can get the step-by-step directions from the sausage site........

Let's do pictures, k?

Soaking the pure hog casings in warm water

(Gross!)

While I was cutting/cubing the roasts, I soaked the hog casings (I bought mine as part of a sausage kit on Amazon).  The really grody part was rinsing the INSIDES of the casings.  We're talking about pig intestines here - just FYI - and they're slithery and slimy!  It was challenging to separate the casings, and then to pry one end open and keep it open under a running faucet to let the water run through it.  Then you have to squeeze-out all of the water by pinching/sliding down the length of the casing...  Yeah!  Gross!

Okay, now back to the meat:

This requires a super-sharp knife!

All ready for the grinder!

All right!  

So far, so good!

Wellllll....  It started out all right, but....  Let me just say this:  Whoever came up with that claim about being able to grind 5 lbs of meat in one minute was - for lack of a better word - full of sh*t!  I suppose if I had bolted the damned thing down, it might've gone a little bit easier.  It's extraordinarily difficult to stuff AND crank AND hold the thing steady (in spite of the fact that the grinder weighs a freaking ton!).  Alternatively, maybe having a second person to turn the crank might've helped a bit as well.  But let me tell you: Whoever has crank-duty had better have Popeye arms!

I'm strong to the finitch 'cuz I eats me spinach!

Yeah, so, 30 minutes later (with sweat dripping into my eyes - EW!),  I noticed that I was turning the crank and nothing new was coming out the other end.  In fact, the stuff I was stuffing into the grinder was simply oozing back out the top of the grinder.  WTF?!!

Yeah, the grinder plate kept getting jammed up with fatty connective tissue from the roast.  Sh*t.  So I had to keep stopping, removing the grinder plate and blade to de-gunkify them (had to use a knife and a strong-stream of running water), then re-assemble the unit.  I repeated that process, several times, and - ohhh maybe after an hour, total - I ended up with a bowl-full of freshly ground sausage. 

(which I forgot to take a picture of - but I think you can imagine it, right?!)

So then I pulled the hog casings from their soaking bowl and began the tedious task of separating them.  I had no clue how many casings I would need, so I started out with five:

Gross, right?!

(I ended up using only one! HA!)

Okay, then I mixed up the seasonings:

The trick - at this stage - is to have the liquid seasoning mixture COLD so that the meat and fat solidify a bit. The other trick is to do your final mixing with your bare (or gloved) hands so that the seasoning gets evenly distributed.

I didn't take pictures during the stuffing phase because I'd need to sprout more arms!  But I removed the grinding plate and blade, and replaced it with the sausage stuffer tube.  I smeared the outside of the tube with a little olive oil so I could more easily slide the hog casing onto the end of the tube.  And it really wasn't easy at all - particularly since my fingers were super-slimy (no way to avoid that!  I think I went through a whole roll of paper towels!).

The stuffing of the casings really wasn't very difficult (after the prep-work was done!).  Pull the end of the casing off the feed-tube and start turning the crank.  The casing fills with air at first, but then the sausage starts coming out.  Right hand gently tugs the casing, guiding the sausage, while the left hand turns the crank.  Once you've got one sausage length, stop cranking, tug the sausage away from the stuffer and give it a couple-three twists.  Then resume tugging/guiding and cranking for the next sausage...

End up with this:

Yummy Sausage!

I ended up with 9 links appx 3-4" long (from one hog-casing).  I could have kept going with the casings, but I actually prefer bulk Italian Sausage (and didn't want to wrestle with more pig intestines!!), so I also ended up with two vacuum-packed 1-lb bags of bulk Italian sausage for the freezer - and one smallish bag (maybe half-a-pound?) that I tossed in the fridge.

I left the stuffed sausages to air-dry on the plate in the fridge overnight (since I don't have a cool dry place to hang them).  This morning, I vacuum-sealed them (2 per bag) for the freezer...

* * * * *

Taste-Test!

I did cook-up one link and some mini-patties for brunch this morning since I was dying to see how they came out.  The flavor of this recipe is good - but not well-suited for breakfast (Hubby agrees!).  I am SURE that this will be awesome in tomato sauce, though...

Now I can't wait to make a batch o' spaghetti sauce with my very own Frozen Squozen 'Maters, home-grown herbs, and home-made Italian Sausage!

So: What's the final verdict on Sausage-Making?!

• I wish I had my Dad's old grinder - This one sucks!
• The fact that it got jammed-up, early-on, meant that the meat inside the grinder got super-smushed.  And not in a good way.  
• So, for Round I of sausage-making, it really didn't have the proper "chunky" texture throughout.
• Sausage-making seems like a lot of work to me (right now) and I am not super-eager to attempt it again anytime soon!
• Bottom Line:  I need a better grinder (and I think I've decided I also need a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer.  Hello Amazon Wish-List!)

I DO have a whole lot of hog-casings to use up, however.  And I DO want to try more of the recipes on the sausage-making site (Mmmm...  Bratwurst!), so I suspect I may end up buying some plain-ol' already-ground-up breakfast sausage from the store (::::GASP:::).  Using the grinder as a sausage-stuffer really isn't all that bad (I might ask hubby to run the crank next time!), so I probably WILL attempt this again.

Hope you've enjoyed my Culinary Mis-Adventures.  I'm not calling this one a "Win" - but definitely worthy of more experimentation - once I get the proper equipment!

And now I will leave you with a picture of a blown-glass snowman that I made at Bay Area Glass Institute a couple of weeks ago:

"Merry Christmas!"

Recipe: Crock-Pot Cranicot Pork Loin (and my New Love: Sweet Potato Queens)

Yep.  I've been a bit quiet lately, I know.  I think I've finally recovered from Thanksgiving and now Christmas Shopping Madness is upon us (Thank Gawd for Amazon and my new "boyfriend" who stops by, with alarming frequency, in his big brown truck!)...

The leftover turkey + a little dressing + sweet potato guts + green bean casserole + leftover gravy + whatever the hell else I could find in the fridge/freezer/cupboards ended up inside a MOST delicious Turkey Pot Pie.  Sadly, no "recipe" to share, its basically just a grab-whatever-sounds-good kinda recipe that started out with fresh chopped onions carrots and celery, sauteed in olive oil.  Then leftover turkey (and assorted "stuff") tossed into a medium saucepan and heated up (with just enough chicken broth to keep it "soupy").  Then dump everything into a 9" frozen pie crust, cover with rolled 'fridgerator pie-crust and bake at 425* for 15 mins, then reduce to 375* and bake 'til golden brown (maybe 30 mins?  I didn't keep track - sorry!).

Bottom Line: It was delicious and barely lasted 24 hours!

Added Bonus: I made enough "guts" for two pies, so I glorped the excess into a ziplock baggie and tossed it into the freezer for future pie-making...

Okay, now onto the Recipe du Jour...

So I have a new literary addiction. Initially, I got hooked because Amazon Kindle has these ever-changing specials for cheap reads, right?  Whenever I go on vacation, I like to load-up my Kindle with lots of light reading, so I browsed the discounted book selections and stumbled onto: "Fat is the new 30:  The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping with (the crappy parts of) Life."   Honestly, I couldn't pass it up (I think it was like $2-3).  Well, I read it and literally laughed my @$$ off while reading it on the plane.  So now I am hooked on Jill Connor Browne and all of the Sweet Potato Queens' books.

I've read 3 of them, so far - and I can't seem to get enough!  I'm not gonna bother doing a Book Review - but you can get the general gist of the books by reading the Amazon reviews.  Just trust me: They are freaking hysterical - and light enough that you can set it down and pick it up a week or so later, and continue reading without feeling "lost."

Added bonus: She always shares SINFULLY delicious-sounding recipes - most of which I will never try (lots and lots of sugary-sweet/diabetic-coma-inducing desserts!).

The last book I read was "The Sweet Potato Queens' First Big-Ass Novel" and, at the end, she makes mention of her dream of one day opening a restaurant that only serves "Funeral Food."  Now coming from MY background (my ancestors crossed the plains in covered wagons and settled in Utah - there's a clue!), Funeral Food does NOT sound very appetizing - since it invariably involves Tuna Casserole and at least one dish made from Lime Jell-O.

I'm guessing that people from the South have it a bit better in the Funeral Food realm!

Anyway, I decided to attempt one of her recipes today and...  So far, so good!

I don't want to be guilty of plagiarism, so before I post (my interpretation) of the recipe, I wanted to see if Google was forthcoming... And it was!  Original Recipe here: "Who Croaked? Crock-Pot Pork"

Talk about a Win-Win!  Pork AND Crock-Pot?  Yeah, sign me up!

That said, I give FULL CREDIT to the Sweet Potato Queens for this recipe - but I *did* tweak-it-up a bit. (I just can't help myself!!!)

QT's Crock-Pot Cranicot Pork Loin
Adapted from "The Sweet Potato Queens' First Big-Ass Novel"

Ingredients

• 1 medium chopped onion
• 1 cup fresh white mushrooms, sliced
• 2 stalks chopped celery 
• 14 oz can of whole-berry cranberry sauce (orig recipe called for a 16 oz can, but I'm guessing that Cranberry Sauce is going the way of Toilet Paper and "1/2 Gallons" of Ice Cream: Ever-Shinking  Bastitches!!!)
• 1 cup chopped dried apricots
• Couple handfuls of Craisins (maybe 1/2 cup?)
• 1 cup Apricot Nectar (Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find Apricot nectar that ISN'T sweetened with High Fructose Corn Syrup???) (Shame on you, Kerns!  I always considered you "Healthy!" NOTTT)
• 1/2 cup Splenda
• 1 TBS white vinegar
• 1 tsp dried mustard
• 1/4 tsp crushed red pepper
• 1 tsp salt
• 2-1/2 lb pork loin
• Apricot Jam (optional - to glaze the meat toward the end)
• 1-2 TBS corn starch
• 1-2 TBS water

Instructions:

1. Dump your chopped veggies into the crock pot (I'm considering mushrooms a veggie!).
2. Dump your can of cranberry sauce on top of the veggies
3. Add in your chopped apricots + Craisins and nectar, start stirring it up.
4. Add sweetener and spices, to taste (give it a sample to make sure you like it!)
5. Place your pork loin on top of all that, and spoon the sauce and veggies over it 'til nicely coated.
6. Cook in Crock-Pot on low for 6-8 hours
7. About halfway thru cooking, turn the pork loin over
8. Toward the end of cooking, turn the loin over again and smear it with a little apricot jam to give it a bit of a glaze
9. If the sauce seems too runny, mix some corn starch with water and stir it into the sauce 'til it thickens to your liking.

That's as far as I've gotten, so far.  I tasted the sauce and it is AMAZING!!!  Kinda reminiscent of Sweet 'n Sour pork - only better!  Depending on how it comes out, I may end up adding a couple-three TBS of home-made apricot jam as a final glaze...

I'll report back (hopefully with pictures) later.  Just wanted to type it out while it was still fresh in my mind!

* * * * *
Later:

Yummm!!!

Okay, I did make a few additions:  Apricot Jam (preferably home-made) smeared on the pork loin near the end of cooking - to give it a glaze.  And corn starch + water to thicken the sauce a bit.

It is, indeed, a tasty dish!  Definitely got a Sweet 'n Sour vibe to it (which is good), and the addition of the dry mustard kept it from tasting too much like Chinese food.  Although you could omit the mustard and maybe add-in some canned pineapple and fresh bell peppers if you wanted a more "Asian" vibe.  It would be quite tasty over rice (per the SPQ's recommendation), but I had some pre-made mashed 'taters in the fridge - and it was fine with that.

Final bit of disclosure:  Even though I have labeled this post "Spreckles" - this really wasn't Spreckles at all.  How sad is that?!  I've got slightly less than half a pig in the freezer, and I had to BUY a pork loin at the grocery store (:::GASP:::).  Actually, we didn't get a pork loin from Spreckles b/c we opted for pork chops.  I bet I could make this again - using pork chops instead of the loin.  In fact, it was good enough, that I just might do that!

Anyhoooo...  The Final Verdict: Cranberry/Apricot/Crock-Pot-Pork Loin is a very tasty dish indeed!  Highly recommend!!!

Spreckles: The Other White Meat

Okay...  Spreckles is in the oven!

Unfortunately, I discovered that Freedom Meats (love 'em dearly - don't get me wrong!) doesn't shrink-wrap the individual meat portions.  The sausages and hams were shrink-wrapped, but the chops were wrapped (2 per pkg) in butcher paper.

Soooooo...  That means I have to "Plan Ahead" now!  Perilous Territory, folks...  I can barely see past the tip of my nose, most of the time.  And just because something sounds good in the morning - doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna WANT THAT (or have the energy to prepare it), when evening rolls around.

Yeah, I know.  Sucks to be me.

Gotta decide in the morning (or worse: A day or two in advance!) if I want to defrost dinner "properly." That's what I like about Omaha Steaks, actually.  You just open the freezer, decide 'hmm, a sirloin sounds good,' pop that shrink-wrapped hunk o' goodness in a sink full of cold water and half an hour later, you're Good-To-Go to fire-up the grill!  (OTOH, I'm pretty sure Omaha Steaks aren't open-range raised, nor sprinkled with Pixie Dust.  They're probably factory-farmed, knee-deep-in-sh*t, feedlot steaks - something I am SLOWLY try to move away from, k?! Baby steps!)

Annnnnyyyyhooooooo...  I consulted Google to find a suitable pork chop recipe.  I wanted to "Keep It Simple, Stupid."  I also wanted to minimize the amount of sauces/seasonings/fancy-shmantzy-sh*t because I want to TASTE the Goodness that is Spreckles!

Here is the recipe I followed - pretty-much/almost to the letter (:::GASP:::).

Okay-okay, I futzed around with it a TEENY bit!

Spreckle's Debut: Baked, Glazed Pork Chops
Yields 4 pork chops

Ingredients

• 4 pork chops (mine are bone-in, medium thickness)
• 1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup with Roasted Garlic (Campbell's)
• 3 stalks celery
• 1 lb fresh white mushrooms
• 1 large onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• Generous sprinkling of onion powder
• Light sprinkling of garlic powder 
• Light sprinkling of celery salt
• 1/2 - 3/4 cup Marsala wine (the regular stuff, not salted cooking wine)
• 1/2 cup Crema Casera or heavy whipping cream
• 1/2 cup water
• French-fried onions (appx 1/2 - 1 cup)
• Olive oil
• Butter

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 375*
2. Coarsely chop your onions, celery and mushrooms. Finely mince your garlic. Set aside.
3. Season your chops with garlic powder (a little), onion powder (lots!), celery salt (medium amt), and pepper (your preference!).
4. Heat a medium saucepan with a little olive oil and butter and saute 1 clove of garlic, your onions and celery on medium heat.  Stir and add a little salt. Cook until the veggies are limp and translucent.  Remove from heat and set aside.
5. Heat a large skillet with appx 1/2 TBS butter and 1/2 TBS olive oil.  Add one clove of minced garlic and - once it's hot (but before the butter burns), add you chops to sear them.  Reduce heat to medium and cook until brown on the outside (appx 10 mins).  Set the chops on a plate.
6. Deglaze the pan with the wine.  Cook on medium low, scraping up all the crusty goodness in the pan.  Continue cooking and stirring 'til it thickens slightly and becomes a runny glaze.
7. Return the chops to the pan, increase heat to medium and turn the chops several times until covered nicely with the glaze (maybe another 5 minutes?  I didn't count!).  Then remove the chops and place 'em in a casserole dish (I think mine is a 1-1/2 quart).
8. Next: Dump your cream of garlic/mushroom soup into your skillet and blend it with the remaining glaze.  Add water and cream and mix some more.  Add your chopped mushrooms and your pre-sauteed celery/onion mix.  Cook on medium-low for maybe 5 minutes (you just want to warm it up).
9. Pour the soupy glazy veggie-y mix over your chops in the casserole dish.  Turn the chops so they get completely coated and buried in the sauce.
10. Cook, uncovered, for appx 45 minutes.  Everything should be nice and bubbly (but the topside veggies might be a little crispy).  Remove the casserole dish, stir it up a little (get the crispy top-stuff incorporated into the gravy).  Add a couple handfuls of French-Fried Onions and return to the oven for 10 minutes 'til the FF onions are brown and crispy.

Annnnndddd...  Spreckles is now OUT of the oven - and in our bellehs!

Yeah, Crappy Droid Pic - I was *hungry* dammit!

Spreckles was tender and delicious!  I served her with mashed potatoes (using the sauce as gravy), mixed veggies and "baked" apples (actually nuked apple spice mixture that didn't make it into yesterday's pie!).

Hubbie agreed, Spreckles is, indeed, a Very Good Pig!  Waaaay better than grocery-store pork!  Tender and lean.  In fact, I'll make sure I post a picture of the BACON (Mmmm!  Bacon!) whenever I pull it out of the freezer.  Hardly ANY fat!

While Spreckles was in the oven, I Googled a bit further and discovered that you can pretty much type in "Pork" + [Any Kind of Fruit] and find a recipe!  And I have a garage FULL of various fruit jams and - did I happen to mention - a freaking FREEZER full of piggie?!

So yeah, I think I may have found a use for some of those jams I put-up all summer, hmmm?!  In fact, I think that THIS recipe might actually be a good "launching point" for other creations.  Start with the same base ingredients (tweaking, as necessary), and maybe swap out the type of wine to better accompany some kinda fruity-jammy sauce.  Say apricot jam and apricot brandy (instead of Marsala wine)...???  Yep, sounds like there might be some Experimentation in my future (Eeeeek!).

Damn this Crappy Weather!! (Plus Low-Sugar Apple Pie) (And Pig-Tale Link!)

:::sigh:::

Summer Weather is GONE (but I soaked-up literally every last minute of it!!!)

Am I ready for winter?  Oh HELL no!  But Rent-A-Son Services is (hopefully) coming over this weekend to help me "put the yard away."

How 'bout all those other Wild-@ss Ideas you've been yammering about?!

Is Laundry caught-up?

Green Tomato Relish?  Uhhhmmm, no! But the tomatoes *did* ripen - all on their own even! - so I might still whip out one more batch o' Tomato Bisque.

Cranberry Apple Chutney?  Still have the ingredients - but no, I haven't made it yet.

How 'bout that Apple Pie?

Apples - mostly from my tree, but some are from the Farm-Share

As a matter of fact...  I DID bake a pie today (Yay!!!)

Funny thing, those apples...  I planted an espaliered grafted tree with 6 different varieties of apples, several years ago.  Lost the individual "tags" the first year (so I have NO clue which variety is what).  Then we built the greenhouse directly in front of the tree and I always FORGET that there are apples to harvest (Ooooops!).  As usual, most ended up rotting on the ground, but I did harvest a sizable basket's worth (Yay me!)...

Soooo I Googled a bit, and made a mental note of all the necessary ingredients, and this is what I came up with:

QT's Low-Sugar Apple Pie
Yields 1 @ 9" deep-dish pie

Ingredients

• 8 cups peeled, cored apples (assorted varieties) (~3 lbs)
• 2 TBS lemon juice (bottled is fine)
• 3/4 cup C&H Light (50/50 Cane Sugar and Stevia)
• 2 heaping TBS Splenda Brown Sugar Blend
• 1/8 cup all-purpose flour (I think I might bump that up to 1/4 cup next time)
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
• 1 egg-white
• 2 pie crusts suitable for a 9" deep-dish pie
• 1-2 TBS butter

Instructions

1. Pre-heat your oven to 425* and pull your crusts out to thaw (if you're a cheater like me!)
2. Whip out the W-A-D - or you can peel/core the Old Fashioned Way (I love my Peeler/Corer Gizmo)
3. Chop the apples into apple-pie sized chunks and toss 'em in a bowl, sprinkling lemon juice as you go (to keep 'em from browning).  Keep peeling/coring/chopping apples 'til you have appx 8 cups.
4. Add your sweeteners, spices and flour to the chopped apples and toss 'til everything is covered.
5. Fill the bottom crust with sweetened apple spice mixture.  It's okay to heap the fruit up to appx 1" above the crust edge (the apples will shrink during cooking).
6. Put a few blorps of butter on top of the fruit.  
7. Dampen the edges of the crust with a wet finger.  Add your top crust, cut off any excess and pinch the two crusts together.
8. Mix the egg-white with a little water and brush the top crust lightly (so you get a nice shiny crust).  Optional: Add coarse granulated sugar crystals.
9. Cut vent holes/slits in the top crust
10. Place pie in your pre-heated oven.  Be smart and put a foil-lined big-pan underneath it (it will gooze a bit!).
11. Cook for 10 minutes @ 425*, then reduce heat to 375* and continue to cook for appx 30-45 minutes or until golden brown (I was using my convection oven and it took a lot longer than anticipated)

Pie is delectably delicious - although a bit runny (and therefore not photo-worthy!)

In other News (Random Rambliness!):

Project Pork:  I have a full freezer!  And Finny has posted the Final-Final Piggy Update here - including pictures of Spreckles and her SCARY-NEAT Chestie Freezer (No, I will *not* be posting pictures of OUR freezer!).  We still haven't sampled Spreckles - but I found a tasty-looking glazed pork chop recipe that I am eager to try...  Maybe tomorrow - and if it's tasty, I'll share!

Psoriasis Woes: Have returned with a vengeance.  Not sure what to attribute that to (Unfortunately, that blows my theory of cannabis-based topicals being a panacea), but I'm back to using steroid creams (Hate 'em!), and still take Humira (Abso-f**king-lutely DETEST that sh*t!).  I'm actually pretty convinced that "what I've got" is far more insidious than "just" psoriasis (and "just" diabetes).  I think there is something hormonal and/or metabolic at work here - and some of my Googling leads me to believe that my theory MAY pan out.

I'm going to see my endocrinologist in a couple of weeks.  Of all of my doctors, she is the ONLY one I can have an intelligent dialogue with, and I'm "pretty sure" she'd be open to discussing it further and exploring other options (although her initial response - when I first brought up my skin woes - was to refer me to a dermatologist).  I need to research this further, but I want her to order any and all tests that MIGHT help get to the root of this because I am SICK TO DEATH of being a freaking invalid! (Srsly!  I'm back to walking with a cane! Sh*t F*ck P*ss!).

Ceramic Artistry:  I did manage to crank out a few more pieces, and most of my Christmas Crap is well underway, and I squoze-in a couple more firings (still wanna do 1-2 more firings in the next week).  My company had a Holiday Bazaar up in Pleasanton, earlier this week, and P and I shared a table.  I sold appx $80 worth of stuff (Yay!), but had to put $71.00 into Willie's Gas Tank afterward (Wahh-Wahh-WAAHHHHHH!).  Still, it was fun to go into the office and see my buddies - AND sell some of my "stuff!"

Holiday Bazaar @ Work

Glass Artistry:  Going to BAGI again tomorrow - this time to make a glass bowl.  Hopefully I can post some cool pictures.  And I want to sign up for their "Make A Snowman Ornament" class - just for grins...  I like their one-off classes where you sign-up to "Make A [Whatever]."  I'm not "into" glass to the point where I'd want to fork over the $$ for classes and renting Hot-Shop Time - but I do enjoy creating the individual projects (let's see, so far I've made a paperweight, a flower, a heart, and a teardrop-shaped ornament).

Okay, well, that's about all the news that's fit to print.  Rambly? Yes - but if you made it this far: "Thanks!!!"

Project Pork - Again, "Everything you never wanted to know about buying pork at the fair"

Allllrighty then...  I owe you guys a post about The Pig Purchase Adventure!

Requisite Warning: "Rampant Rambling Ahead."  If buying meat-on-the-hoof at the fair doesn't interest you, then "Move along...  Nuthin' to see here..!"

And, BTW, this post will be WILDLY out-of-order - given that it's taken me over a week to finally write it!  But I'll *try* to stay On-Topic as much as I can (No easy feat - as I'm sure you're aware!!!)

As previously noted, Finnyknits and I went-in halvsies on the purchase of a pig at the San Benito County Fair...

Finny couldn't make it.  But Beloved Hubs and I made the trek down to Bolado Park, in Trés Pinos - on the other side of Hollister, CA ("Birthplace of the American Biker").  Figure, it's appx 50 miles South of here...  (Ooh, and we drove through ohhh-sooo-aromatic Gilroy - "Garlic Capital of the World" - and GAWD was I hungry!)  

So anyway, prior to the inception of "Project Pork" (which, actually, started LAST year with my Reconnaissance Mission to the San Benito County Fair), I did do a fair amount of research.

I found the most useful info at these sites:  This one, and this one.  Although the pricing listed on these sites is nowhere near what we paid (:::sigh:::  "It's for a Good Cause!")

I also did further "relevant" research for the local butchers.  We ended up going with Freedom Meat Locker - primarily because they DO have a good web-site (with "cut-sheets" and prices posted), and also because the Yelpers gave 'em consistently rave reviews, including this one:

 - "Carnivores would probably have a boner when they walk in if they see this place. It's meat heaven." 

Consequently, Finny and I have (privately) dubbed this The Meat Bonéria!  Anyway, I checked their website, and also called them to have them fax their most-current price list (which - amazingly! - matches what's posted online!).
Details on pricing/butchering (in general):

To reiterate: When you buy the animal at the auction, you are bidding, per-pound for "live weight."  Then there is a flat "butchering"/"processing" fee (to "dispatch" the animal).  Then the Meat Locker charges you, per pound, based on "hanging weight" - which is roughly 2/3 of "live weight."  And that fee is just for cutting and packaging:  There are add'l (varying) charges if you want smoking (hams and bacon) or flavored sausages (higher $ still).  But the add'l charges are based on "actual poundage" for whatever meats you are smoking or having made into sausage...

I'm not certain, but I think the San Benito County Fair contracted with the "meat processors" - not sure what the correct term is... (aka "dispatchers") (aka "Send My Pig To FREEDOM") (Ultimately "Convert my pig from a living, sentient being, to a hanging carcass to be delivered to the Meat Locker").  Anyway, the cost for "dispatching" a pig is $30.00/head.  And I think that's a negotiated price based on the # of animals that the fair is planning to "dispatch" this year.  So that may vary, regionally...

San Benito County Fair uses these meat lockers: Freedom Meat Lockers, Corralitos Market (no website!) and Star Market.  Price-wise, they all looked pretty comparable.  And they all got Rave Reviews on Yelp.  So I ended up basing my decision on the "completeness" of their website, and the "helpfulness" of their staff when I called.  

Freedom won - hands-down.  The ladies who man (woman?) the phones are SUPER helpful and SUPER knowledgeable and seem to be very-much accustomed to neophytes (like me!) calling and asking silly questions! 

So the "Base Price" for processing @ Freedom is $0.98/lb for "hanging weight" which - as previously noted - is appx 2/3 of live weight.  That's for cut and wrap - to our specifications (i.e. I want 2 shoulder roasts @ ~3lbs, and the rest should be ground into sausage.  And I want the loin made into thick-cut, boneless pork-chops packaged in 2-serving portions, etc.).  

Smoking and Sausage are "extra." (Smoking - of hams and bacon - come in at $0.90/lb extra,  Sausages range from $2.35-$3.10/lb with a minimum order of 20# of a specific Sausage-Flavor (minimum needed to fill the grinder/stuffer contraption).  So: End Result:  Finny and I will be splitting 20# of Hot Italian Sausage (10# apiece).  That should still leave me a good-sized hunk of "Picnic Shoulder" (or whatevers) for smoking into a delicious "Pulled Pork" Extravaganza...

Here is the final "assumed" break-down (with the understanding that the roast poundage might end-up getting cut-back a squee, in order to maintain the sausage minimum):

Based on the review of site #2:   The assumption is, well, forget the assumptions (since this post has taken me so damned long to write!) - HERE is what we will PROBABLY end up with.  Well, more specifically, this is how my half will be portioned out.  Finny's order is similar.

We'll each get about a couple-dozen 3/4" pork chops (wrapped 2 per package), 2 shoulder roasts (prob'ly smaller than anticipated - or maybe just one roast), 1 smoked ham (in my case, it will be 3-4 "ham roasts" at 3-4 lbs apiece.  I think Finny went with Ham Steaks instead), 8 lbs of smoked thick-cut bacon, 3 lbs of spare ribs and 10 lbs of Smoked Hot Italian Sausage, and maybe a pound or two of plain, bulk, ground-pork sausage (which I may, or may not attempt to stuff into casings and smoke myself).

Also:  We had set a "theoretical cap" of $600, per couple, for the Piggy-Share.  I took that number and plugged it into a nifty little (Droid-Phone-Friendly) spreadsheet and factored-in all kinds of details like "dispatching" fees and per-lb "processing fees": and yada-yada, in order to come up with a "MAXIMUM" bid price, per animal, right????  And I was *so* proud of my Anal-Retentiveness in that particular endeavor! (More on that, later!)

Anyhooooo...  In the interest of preserving my "Random Ramblings" Title, let's move onto the Actual Adventure at the fair, shall we?  Ohhhh suuuuuuure!

So we arose, bright-and-early, at zero-dark-hundred on Saturday Morning.  Just FYI:  I do NOT function prior to 9:00am, as a rule!  But Hubs got me up and functional at around 6:00am - and lived to tell about it!

Now, it's late September, when the weather is generally "pretty pleasant," right?!!

We hit the road around 7:30am, so we could be assured of getting settled-in and parked and "checked-in" as a buyer by 9:00am, right?!

As we were driving down, we encountered this:

Friggin' SUCK-TASTIC "Wintry" lookin' weather on 101 South...

And as we got FURTHER south (where the weather is s'posed to be even NICER), we encountered THIS:

Weather sooooo froggy, my camera couldn't even focus!

This is hwy 25, eastbound, heading toward Hollister...

Once we reached the "other side" of Hollister, the heavens opened:

Yay!!!  Sunshine!!!

And we arrived at the fairgrounds:

We ♥♥♥ the Ferris Wheel - from a long-time back
(Actually goes back to our pre-marriage/pre-proposal trip to the Calaveras County Fair...)

But that's another story, for another time...  Point being:  I got checked-in, on time, and got my Critter Catalog and Bidder #:

Catalog and Bidder#

So, immediately after getting my Catalog and Bidder #, we went back and got some breakfast.  We had about an hour to kill, so I started scribbling notes on the Buyer's Catalog - which lists ALL of the animals + weights - about 'Max to Bid" per animal.

I was "PREPARED," right???

Welllll... Kinda!

I was thinking we were gonna be bidding in the range of roughly $3.50-5.00/lb (depending on weight), right?  And $5.00/lb was a SUPER-high estimate based on the fact that the gal at Freedom Meats told me that Safeway was "bidding-up" all the pigs at Santa Cruz County Fair (a couple of weeks prior) - to $5.00/lb.  Right out the chute, I was all "Oh, crap!"  That's gonna be over-budget - unless it's a smallish 200# pig.

Now, the night before, I re-worked my spreadsheet into a PRINTABLE format that listed Maximum-Bid, per weight.  So, like, if the pig was 190#, I could bid as high as $5.47/lb.  Whereas, if the pig was 235#, I could only bid $4.29/lb.  So I did all these calculations, clear up to 250#.  And my calculations were (stupidly) EXACT.  Yes, $4.29/lb.

There were a couple of flaws in this plan:  First one being: my spreadsheet maxed-out at 250#.  But appx 1/3 of the animals were OVER 250#. (Holy Bacon, Batman!  There were some 270+ pounders that looked like friggin' STEERS!).

The second flaw was that bids were increasing in $0.50 increments, so that $4.29 "exact max bid" wasn't gonna fly...

Okay, no worries!  I'll just round-down to the nearest $0.50/lb.

And, as for the pigs that exceeded my printed spreadsheet weight, I'll just use my Handy-Dandy "Pork Calculator App" (excel spreadsheet!) on my Droid!

Well, the third flaw (or "last nail in the coffin!") was that (as it turned out) the Opening Bids were starting at, or ABOVE my calculated maximum.  "Sh*t!"

Add one more "fly in the ointment:" Hubbie had a toothache that day.  Now, mind you, he didn't SAY anything about it when we woke-up that morning.  Bless his heart, I'm *guessing* that he figured he'd just come along, and we'd get in and buy the pig, and GO.  But - as it turned out - they kinda re-shuffled the "order" of things at the Auction, this year.  Pigs weren't going on the block until the VERY END of the day.

So, we got there bright and early.  Got registered and got our bidder#.  We also got settled in with some GOOD seats.  Down low, so we don't have to climb over strangers, and up toward the front, so we can SEE all the action - up close 'n personal, right?  

Getting ready to start the Auction...

And, once we were all settled in (with my spreadsheets and buyer's catalog, and maximum bids duly noted), THEN hubs decides to tell me about his throbbing toothache and how he thinks he might need an Emergency Extraction.

"WTF?!!!"

"Umm.  Why didn't you tell me this BEFORE we left?!  I could have come down by myself!!!"

Oh well...  Whatever.  We were there.  Might as well make the best of it.  Although we did relinquish our PRIMO seats and sat out in an open area near the barns to wait it out ('til after the rabbits, and turkeys, and 80-jillion sheep, and 30-jillion goats, and 50-jillion steers were sold).

Did I mention it was a GORGEOUS day?!

Looking toward the livestock barns and hills in the background...

While we were hanging out, I wandered off to take pictures of pigs...

Most were snoozing!

This guy really "hammed-it-up" for the camera

(Get it?!!  "Ham-it-up?!!")  (:::GROAN:::)

I also wandered back to the Auction Ring, from time-to-time, to see how things were progressing...

Here is one of the "Champion" Steers

Prob'ly sold for $8million...

Finally!!!  Pigs are in the ring!

So, the way it worked was:  The first critters (in each group) to be auctioned were the Champions and Reserve Champions (4-H and FFA), and some "Breeder's Choice" Hoo-Haw Awards (for animals bred/raised by the exihibitor, locally).  And for each of the "Prize" critters, we had to wait for the buyer and exhibitor (and critter) to be photographed.  So generally, the first half-dozen animals sold took a lot longer to GET sold.

Then, when they DID start auctioning the pigs, the FIRST pig (4-H champion) sold for a whopping $20+/lb. We are talking about a FIVE-THOUSAND-DOLLAR-HAM people!!!

Needless to say, I was all :::GULP!:::

And hubs was all "You're NOT paying those kind of prices, are you?!!" (he was feeling pretty grumpy at this point.  Apparently, the Motrins I'd tossed him earlier weren't working very well).

"Just hang on" I retorted "These are the Champion pigs...  Let's just sit tight and see what the Regular pigs are going for!"

Welllll....  As I'd stated earlier, most of the "starting bids" were already AT my pre-calculated maximum.  And now I'm getting all flustered because - Dammit - we woke up at the crack of doom, and drove all this way, and waited around, and blah-da-blah-da, and hubby is grumbling, and BY GOD I AM *NOT* GOING HOME WITHOUT A PIG, DAMMIT!!!

So then I'm consulting my "Cheat-Sheet" of maximum bids and I have more-or-less convinced myself that it'd be OK to go a "squee" above my stated maximum - and I'll just "eat the difference" (Arr-Arr!).  "So what if I end-up paying a couple-hundred more than Finny?  I mean, the meat is supposed to be stupendous and money really isn't a concern for me..."

What I hadn't considered was how Fast-Paced (and nerve-wracking) the whole Auction/ Bidding Experience was!  I mean, I watch Auction Kings and Storage Wars and all of those shows on History Channel, so I *thought* I was prepared!

Not so! (Oh my goodness, no!!!)

As it turned out, most of the pigs were selling in the $8-9/lb range.  Then one li'l piggie steps into the ring, and he's at "$4.50... $4.50... $4.50... Do I hear $5.00?  FIVE DOLLARS! $5.00... $5.00...  Do I hear $5.50?!  $5.50... $5.50...  Can I have SIX DOLLARS?"  And I bravely raised my number "SIX DOLLARS!  Can I have $6.50? $6.50... $6.50..." And somebody bid $6.50...  And the ring attendant (or whatever he's called) looked and nodded at me and I STUPIDLY nodded back...

And then I realized.  "Oh sh*t! I just bid $7.00/lb.  Oops.  Please SOMEBODY OUTBID ME!!!"

Well, nobody did.  Oopsie!

Looks like I just bought-us as pig!

So THEN, you're supposed to remain in your seat (here is the Educational Part of my post!), so that a 4H/FFA "Runner" can come and find you to fill out some paperwork to provide the purchaser's name/address/phone# and "disposition" of said purchase ("I want to take it home ALIVE, or I want to "donate him back" for a tax write-off, or I want to send it to thus-and-such Meat-Locker").  Okay, I fubar'd there.  Immediately after winning the pig, we headed toward the "Pay Here" office and, unfortunately, they couldn't take my money without the Runner's Paperwork! (so we tracked-down the "runner" who looked just as confused as we did!)

Then...  After doing the Runner's Paperwork, you learn your pig's "Tag#" (which is how he will be known, from that point forward).  You need the pig's Tag# in order to be able to place your order with the Meat Locker.  So, again, good "Educational Info" if you think you ever want to venture into "Buying Meat On-The-Hoof at the Fair" Territory!

Anyhooo...  No, I never did find out the pig's name.  Couldn't even find the exhibitor, but at least I found the pig and was able to take his picture, right?

I posted him on Facebook, and tagged Finny.  Figured we could name him "Spreckels" (although that goes against my "Never Eat Anything You've Named" rule).  Maybe it's better to just call him "Breakfast," right?!

Anyway, he is 217# and should net Finny and I appx 70-75# of meat apiece.  I paid $1549.00 to the fair (for $7/lb Live-Weight + $30.00 to "dispatch" him).  He is now hanging in the locker at Freedom Meats, and he should be ready for pick-up in appx 2-3 weeks.

Soooo...  After the fair...  I called Freedom Meat Locker and said "Hi, I am IM QTPI, and I purchased a pig at San Benito County Fair this past weekend.  I am calling to place an order for half of the pig with the tag# 123.  Finny will be calling to order the other half..."  And the ladies "walked me thru" the order process most professionally.  Finny and I will "settle-up" our Meat Locker Bills, individually.  Finny has graciously volunteered to "borrow" a ginormous cooler from me, and she will do the pick-up @ Freedom Meat Lockers, then drop the cooler-full-o-pig at my house.

Can't Freaking Wait!!!

I hope we get a few more "pleasant" afternoons where I can fire-up the smoker.  Not sure if we'll start-off with ribs, or maybe Picnic (shoulder) roasts, but I am totally JONESIN' for some good old-fashioned SMOKED PORK!!!

Yummm!!!!

Heeeeere Piggy-Piggy! (Everything you never wanted to know about pork, but were afraid to ask!)

Warning: Rampant Rambling ahead so, if you aren't interested in "How to buy a pig at the Fair," you can just skip this post, k?!   But it's been a very interesting learning experience for me!  And I hope to post more info, as the saga continues...

So, referring back to my earlier post, we are waking up Bright 'n Early on Saturday morning, and heading down to Bolado Park - on the other side of Hollister - for the San Benito County Fair.

We'll be indulging in Free Breakfast (Carbs 'n Caffeine - no doubt!), and I'll be studying the Buyer's List and making note of "maximum prices" I can bid, per pig!  And, after the sale, we'll get to enjoy a free Buyer's BBQ (Yummm!!!).  And I love-love-love the San Benito County Fair because it is as close to "Old Timey" as you can find in Northern California (most of our fairs are obscenely "commercial!")

See, Finnyknits, and I are going in halvsies on a 4H/FFA pig.

Finny claims to be "the worst Jew in the history of Jews."

Not so, Finny.  My College Bud,D, (who is now an Ex-Pat) converted to Judaism when she married her husband (a Born 'n Bred East Coast Jew - complete with Noo-Yawk accent!).  Their FAVORITE restaurant is an open-air joint that they've dubbed "The Cholesterol Palace" (and I honestly can't recall the restaurant's real name!) - just outside of Jocotepec, Mexico.  Hands-down, the VERY BEST dish they serve is freshly slaughtered and smoked pork.  We're talking: The soon-to-be-dinner animals are all milling-about in a pen in FRONT of the restaurant.  The coals are red-hot, and the meats are skewered onto rebar posts and cooked RIGHT THERE.  The place is a TOTAL arm-pit - that no self-respecting tourist would EVER venture into - but the food is FREAKING AMAZING!!!  Anyway, she - and her husband - snarf-up their Smoked Pork like nobody's business!

Anyhoooo...  Finny usually stocks up her "Chestie" with a quarter-share of grass-fed beef every year.  This year, I convinced her to go-in on the purchase of half a pig.  No, not grass-fed, but definitely NOT "Feedlot Fare."

I know I've alluded, many times in the past, to wanting to get "closer" to where my food comes from.  And, having done the FFA-Thing, I think I can safely assume that these animals are NOT abused.  Yeah, they're grain-finished - but (to be perfectly honest) - I kinda like the idea of grain-finished, fat-filled meat.  Hell, that's where the FLAVOR comes from, right?

OTOH, I don't want meat that's been fed "questionable" stuff (dead chickens or whatevers - I think the practice of feeding "beef-bi-products" to cattle has been discontinued after all of the Mad-Cow-Scare stuff).  And I really-and-truly HATE the idea of "Feedlot" animals standing knee-deep in sh*t (But no - it doesn't stop me from buying supermarket meat - I must shamefully admit)...

But - all of that aside - I figure "every little bit" counts.  And if I have an opportunity to buy a "humanely raised" pig - well, that's a good thing, right?!  Ultimately, I do want to get closer to the source of my food.......

(and I DO get my eggs from backyard-raised chickens, k?!!)

Okay.  I'm stepping down from my soap-box now!

So, I first got this "Wild Hair" last year, actually.  I subscribe to the Santa Clara Valley Chickens group on Yahoo (b/c Good-Friend P is a chicken-keeper and two of the hens are "technically" mine!).  And one of the posters had a daughter who was pretty heavily into 4-H.  There was a post about the Santa Clara Valley Fair and the upcoming livestock auction, and did anybody want to "go-in-on" beef purchases...?  Well, for whatever reason, I didn't get to jump on that bandwagon, last year.  And - when I contemplated the sheer quantity of meat, I decided that Beef wasn't really a realistic option for the two of us.

Pork?  Maybe...  Half-a-pig?  PERFECT!

We *did* go to the San Benito County Fair, last year, and I grabbed the Buyer's Packets, and kept copious notes about what the pigs were selling for...  Didn't BUY anything (couldn't find anyone to "split" with me), but I figured it was good reconnaissance work, right?

Yeah.  Awesome.  Except that - after we got home - I put my detailed notes someplace SUPER-SAFE!  So safe, I couldn't friggin' FIND 'em this year!!!

Anyhoooooo...  Around July-ish, of this year, I pinged Finny to see if she was interested in splitting a pig and - Yippeee - she said "Yes!"  So "Project Pork" is a GO - Yay!

Then, today on the SBCF Facebook page, they posted this picture:

And I'm all "Ohhhhhh!  That pig is soooo cute!!!!" 

Gawd, I *hope* I don't chicken-out!!!  (No!  I won't!  All of the pigs are destined for the same fate - whether *I* buy or not, right?! - and the money goes to a Good Cause!!!)

Okay, anyway...  I've been learning lots of interesting stuff, so far...

Interesting point(s) to ponder: When you purchase the pig, you are paying $x.xx/lb for "live weight" (which is generally in the 200-225 lb range).  But when the hog is butchered, you are paying $y.yy/lb for "hanging weight" which is "roughly" 2/3 of live weight (depends on the butcher - but generally, it's the weight of the pig MINUS head and - I think - skin).

Butcher Fee (to "dispatch" the animal) is $30.00 per animal.  "Processing" costs are $0.98/lb (which includes cut/wrap to our specifications). And smoking and/or sausage is extra.  This info is based on what I've learned from the SBCF and Freedom Meats, our chosen butcher.  And these are Sept 2012 prices (so compare accordingly!).

One more interesting link that I found (no clue how to "Get in on" the re-sale list - but we'll see).

Anyhoooo...  I am very excited about the "Adventure Du Jour" and am REALLY looking forward to buying a pig this coming weekend!  I'll post more (maybe even post some USEFUL) info as the Adventure continues.....

Never eat anything you've named...(My dirty little Vo-Ag Secret!)

Okay, this post might end up being a little (okay EXTREMELY) "rambly" but Deal-With-It, k?!!

I'm gonna spare you ALL the gory details, but I ended up serving a 2-year "sentence" in God's Country: West Jordan, Utah.  This was in the mid-70's - shortly after my grandpa had died - and West Jordan was mostly comprised of Cow-Pastures, right?

Now, it's mostly cheesy 'toilet-paper-and-duct-tape' (read: Low-Rent) Insta-Housing-Developments.

So I thought I would try to embed a "Let's Go Back In Time!" kinda video from Wayne's World.  Couldn't find one, but I found this and found it utterly amusing.  Totally unrelated to my post (other than the "Doodle-Oodle-Ooh" Flashback sequence), but still funny enough to post:

So yeah, let's go back to The Seventies!  Abba, Roller Disco, Farrah Fawcett haircuts, and Bell-bottomed jeans!  "Far-out, man!"

So I had been sent to go live with my dad, on a farm we inherited from my maternal grandfather.  The house was teeny-tiny.  2BR/1BA, and the second bedroom was BARELY big enough for a twin-sized bed, but the house was situated on one acre of land, with lots of neat old barns to explore, and was surrounded by another 17-18 acres (or so) of pasture land (owned by my uncles - and leased-out to a beef farmer, so he could fatten his herd).

Initially, I was only supposed to spend the summer there.  And while it was supposed to be ("Punishment?") (a means to "get me away from the EVILS of California?") (Most likely, it was just to get me out of my mom's hair!), it turned out to be pretty good times.  I was always a "Daddy's Girl," so all that time - just Me and My Dad - was actually very cool!
The back-story behind that (Remember the Blog-Name: "QT's Random Ramblings") was that Dad decided to take early retirement from his job (27 years with United Airlines) - withOUT consulting Mom first!  Mom (who, at the time, was a total B*tch on Rollerskates) was none too pleased with Dad's decision (she was still working, and was the major breadwinner), so Dad got "exiled" first - when grandpa died and left us this property.  Then, since *I* was entering puberty and was just beginning to show signs of "rebelliousness" (I know, hard to believe - right?!), I was exiled to God's Country shortly thereafter... I actually have lots of cool "Utah Stories" - but I'll try to stay focused because there actually IS a point in here - someplace!!!
So I spent the Summer of 1977, exiled in West Jordan, Utah.  The original plan was that we would move-back to California in the fall.  But dad and I found that we really rather enjoyed the "Country Lifestyle" and we started acquiring a bit of a menagerie while we were there.  I think it started with Chiquita - a puppy we got at the local shelter.  She was supposed to be a dachshund mix, but her legs just kept growing-and-growing.  We think she was a chihuahua/min-pin mix (Goofy, nervous little dog!).  We also acquired Patches, a dachshund-dalmation mix (body, coloring, head, and stupidity of a dalmation - with squatty-little legs - more like a basset-hound in size/conformation).  But Patches was not (and could not be) housebroken, so we put a "Free Dog" sign out at the end of our driveway and someone (mercifully) took her away. Next: Since we were on a farm, we thought it would be cool to get chickens for eggs, right?  We looked thru the newspaper (this was LOOOOOONNNNG before the internet), and picked up a couple-three white leghorn hens.  We brought them home in a large box, tucked into the back of our 1974 Pinto Squire Station Wagon ("Stylin!"):

Yes, ours was like the car on the right - only a darker brown!
As we were driving home, we heard a couple-three "clucking frenzies" coming from the back of the car.  And, by the time we got home, the hens had laid THREE eggs! "SCORE!!!"
Those, by the way, were the ONLY eggs we ever ate.  See, even though we had chickens, we didn't realize that hens needed "designated nesting boxes" in which to deposit their eggs.  From that day forward, the hens would lay their eggs "wherever" and - by the time we discovered them - we had NO clue how long they'd been there -and were scared to eat them!
And, while we're on the subject of chickens, we found another chicken farm - closer to home - that specialized in all kinds of "fancy breeds" and had lots of bantams.  I, being a City Girl (and utterly clueless!), was always drawn to the "Prettier" birds and dad, equally clueless, would buy whatever I chose - right?
I'm SURE the people at that particular farm were THRILLED whenever us "Stupid Californians" would come by to purchase chickens because we, invariably, ended up taking home most of their roosters!  
I couldn't tell you what the rooster-to-hen ratio was.  Let's just say it was WAAAAY the hell out of whack (I want to say we probably had about 5 roosters to 1 hen!) (x appx 35 chickens, total), and - by the end of spring - the poor hens were literally BALD from having been gang-raped by all the roosters!
But we sure had a pretty flock!
(And mom - a born 'n bred farm-girl - would just roll her eyes at the ridiculousness of it all).
We also acquired a couple of goats, some geese, and ducks.  And ultimately I achieved my Life-Long DREAM of getting My Very Own Horse! (That's a separate story.  Not sure if I ever blogged about it - but if I didn't - I'll post it another time)...
Well, long-story-short (Too Late!), we ended up with SO many animals, moving back to California for the school-year was no longer a viable option.  We decided to STAY in Utah...
So I ended up going to West Jordan Junior High (and - by the time I graduated - WJJH developed a reputation of being THE place to go if you wanted to score, umm, "Medicinal Herbs!")  (Of course it wasn't called THAT, back then - but you get the idea!) (And I claim no personal responsibility for ANY of that, but I won't deny that I may have "participated!").  And then, the following year, I went to Bingham High School...
Now, I was an Uber-Geek in California (Long before "Geek was Cool," k?).  You know that super-ugly, fat, greasy-haired, four-eyed, "Fatso" kid that everybody picked-on?  Yeah, that was me!  
...And now that I had a "fresh start" in a new state, I wanted to shed my old persona...  While I wasn't ugly (with too-short "floods" pants) anymore, I was still a wee-bit chubby, and yes, I still had glasses.  But the braces were gone, and I wasn't quite so greasy-haired, and I was a bit more Worldly and Wise (for a 15-year old) (I was still stupid as sh*t  - in retrospect!).
In Utah, I found the schools to be unbelievably clique-ish.  And there really wasn't a specific clique that I fit-into, readily.  But that was okay, because there were enough of us "misfits" to create our OWN clique, right?!
The two groups that I aligned-with, most closely, were the "Stoners" and the "Cowboys" and, unfortunately, those two cliques appeared to be Mortal Enemies.  Well, the band of misfits ended up being sort-of a mashup of "Stoner Cowboys"  and that ended up being pretty cool.
(In fact, I learned how to roll joints in Art Class.  A fellow "Stoner-Cowboy" Misfit taught me how to roll joints - using shavings from the pencil-sharpener in Art Class, and we'd leave them strewn-about in the "Stoner Hallway!")...
But I digress...  And YES, there is a "point" coming!  I promise!!!
So, yeah, I became a "Stoner Cowboy" and - somehow - both groups (Mortal Enemies, as previously noted) came to accept our "Mash-up" clique.  Okay, they didn't "embrace" us - but they didn't kick our @$$es, either.  So I take that as "Acceptance!"
And somehow or other, I ended-up joining the Future Farmers of America - and I probably took a Vo-Ag Class or two (can't recall, offhand).  Part of that endeavor was that I decided I wanted to raise a steer to sell at the County Fair.  And that fit in, just fine, because I had befriended "Stan," the cool old geezer-guy (who leased the surrounding 18-acres from my uncles for his beef herd).  I'm pretty-sure he's the one who hooked me up with my hereford calf.  No clue (at this point) who "financed" the purchase.  I've actually got it stuck-in-my-head that FFA actually paid for it (with the understanding that I would pay it back when the steer, ultimately, got sold).  But it might've been my parents...
Anywaaaaaayyyyy...  In addition to the dogs, and chickens, and ducks, and geese, and goats, and horse, we added a hereford steer to the menagerie!  And Dad was totally cool with all of it (Dad had a KILLER Veggie Garden, as well!).  So I set-about raising "Boogie" (yes, it was the '70s - so "Boogie" was an appropriate name.  Shut UP, k?!) while training my horse, and feeding the other critters..........  It was a simply GRAND time - seriously!!!
And, even though I still had lingering "visuals" of the 4-H kids, at the San Mateo County Fair (in California), snuggling-up and crying into their critters' necks - the last night of the fair, I figured I could do the whole "Raise a Steer" thing...
   And so I persevered............
Of course, I managed to get in my own share of trouble - in the meantime (details *not* forthcoming!).  And the overall stress got to be a bit much for my Dad...
Long Story Short (Oh, we are Hell and GONE from that!), Dad ended up having a heart attack (he survived).  Mom and Sis would've had me believe it was All My Fault - but (judgement aside - "It was what it was"), we ended-up having to pack-up the Pinto and drive back to California in a damned hurry.  Friends and neighbors took care of the critters for a few weeks/months after we'd left - but ultimately, the critters had to be dealt with.
And mom flew back to Utah to handle the "dealing with" of the menagerie....
The chickens, I have no clue what happened to them, but I'm guessing they were all given away.  Ditto the goats.  The dog came back with us, in the car.  The geese and ducks had long-since died.  That left the horse (who was trailered to California - amazingly enough) (again, that's a separate story!), and Boogie, the hereford steer, who was not yet old enough/big enough for slaughter...
Mom, evidently, had tried to sell him back to the FFA (or offered to reimburse them, or whatever), but apparently that didn't fly.  We were "on the hook" for the original sales price, and FFA wouldn't take him back (and I learned all this - many-many years "after the fact").
So mom, when she returned from Utah, "coincidentally" had a couple-three suitcases full of "Fresh Beef" which was stashed in our ginormous freezer...
I wasn't stupid, though, so I took a vow of "vegetarianism" for approximately one year (until all of the "Fresh Beef" was depleted from our freezer!).
  Yeah, those steaks looked *mighty* tasty (and I have no doubt that they WERE)...  But I steadfastly REFUSED to eat anything I'd named!!!   In spite of the fact that mom vehemently DENIED that we were eating "Boogie," I knew better!!!
So yeah, I can't honestly claim that "Home-Grown Beef" is better than "Store-Bought Beef" (although I am SURE that it is!).  I just couldn't see myself eating my own "pet" - ya know?!!  That just seems too freaky, right?
Now....................  Fast-Forward to 2012.................
Me and Finny are going in halvsies on a 4H/FFA Pig.  See?  The "Never eat anything you've named" Rule does NOT apply to eating something that SOMEONE ELSE has named!
So, in a couple of weeks, I'll be going to the San Benito County Fair to purchase a "humanely raised" 4H/FFA Pig which will be butchered and cut to our specifications...  I'll post more as the "Adventure" continues - but I've learned a whole lot, so far!
Anyway, I think it's time to cut this post OFF!  I've rambled plenty, right?!!
More to follow...............................................
xoxo if you've made it this far!!!
-QT